Since I saw Vienna {Wilbur Soot} ✔︎

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Chapter 8

"We haven't spoken since you went away"
- from the dining table -

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Forgiveness has never been something that's straight forward. Never been an easy way to find it. It's a process to forgive.

It takes an incredible amount of effort to forgive and move on. To move on from someone you love.

In the year since Vienna had left she had only stayed in the same place for about three weeks. She was to scared of getting attached, so instead she leaves. That's what she tells herself.

But deep down she knows it's because she won't meet anyone like Wilbur. No one will make her feel like same way. No where she has been has filled that hole in her heart. As the weeks pass she involves herself in the different cultures she meets. She continues to write and perform music.

On the streets of New York City Vienna plays for passerby's. This is the first place she came after leaving Brighton. She figured a huge city would be enough to distract her. The memories are still fresh, the emotions overwhelming.

The was the first time she cried while playing. She sang despite the tears rolling down her cheeks.

If anything good came out of that people gave her sympathy tips.

The next was at an open mic night in Oregon. It felt too similar to where she first met Wilbur. It didn't help a dark, curly haired man sat in the back corner. Upon closer look she would have noticed it wasn't him, nothing like him actually. He had gotten up and left halfway through her short show. That was her breaking point.

Vienna left the next day.

Now, several months later, she's in London, the closet she thinks she will ever get to Brighton again.

After Vienna left Wilbur completely withdrew from everything and everyone. He took a break from streaming, deleted social media and spent his days lying in bed. He mourns the loss of that love and at the same time was over taken with anger.

It took weeks for him to find the motivation to do anything. When he finally does he picked up his Guitar, a pencil and wrote.

He throws himself into his work, writing lyrics for several songs. He writes 6 songs under the album name 'Your City Gave Me Asthma.' It's done but it doesn't feel finished. Hidden in the words of each song are mentions of Vienna and the way she made him feel. Yet he still didn't feel finished with writing about her.

A cool fall night Wilbur sits at his desk staring at the blank paper in front of him. Every time he goes to write something down he hesitates. Whatever it is it doesn't feel good enough.

He checks a calendar. Sixty weeks. It's been sixty weeks since he saw her. Wilbur takes that phrase and runs with it.

He writes about their time together, the things she told him. The words spill across the paper in an organized chaos.

Moving on is difficult, but this is how Wilbur can do it. By putting everything out there in the way he knows how. For many years music has been his escape. Wilburs pencil leaves words in its hasty trail.

It's four in the morning when he sets the pencil aside. Wilbur passes out pretty soon after. Over the next few weeks he spends his days in the studio producing the songs.

When they're done he finally has motivation to go back to streaming. Life starts to get back to normal for both Wilbur and Vienna.

Moving on is difficult but it can be done. The process of forgiving Vienna is a slow one for Wilbur. She hurt him but by forgiving her he is able to move on.