Part 28: First step

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[Carson's POV]
Next morning I woke up and I felt a bit fussed. My head hurt so bad. So I went downstairs to take an aspirin in order to calm that headache.
Matt was sitting at the kitchen island, drinking coffee and scrolling through his Instagram feed.

"Woke up early?" I asked him.
He nodded, but didn't answer.

"Hey, if your pissed for my reaction yesterday... I am sorry." I said.

"It's not that... We cleaned by the way... I need to tell you a thing..."

"What is it, bro? Something happened? You are scaring me"

"Yeah, kinda. Christian and I decided to take a break."

"Wait, what? Weren't you like together yesterday?" I asked confused.

"Yes, then we went to my room and cuddled for a bit. He admitted that our relationship had become just sex, nothing more." Matt explained.

"That sounds strange..."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, but technically you are still together."

"Yeah, more or less. Technically he told me he needed time to think about our relationship. We will wait and see." He puffed.

I got closer to him and hugged him.

"Don't worry, dude. I will always be by your side."

"Thanks, Carson!" He whispered.

"Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we have a bit of fun today. My boyfriend is grounded and yours is taking a break. Basically it's just me and you. Why don't we go hiking?"

"Sounds great. Let's do it, man"!

[Monday morning]
Me and Matt got ripped yesterday. We could barely walk. Unfortunately I didn't have P.E. on Monday, otherwise I would have died on the gym floor.

I was at my locker room, preparing for my English class. Matt did the same. Connor approached us and waved at Matt.

"You got your phone back?" I asked him.

"Yeah, this morning!" He said.

"Cool! How are you by the way? I haven't heard anything from you since Saturday."

"I am fine. Listen, my mom planned to go back to Colorado for spring break. So I won't be here next week. I wanted to ask you if we could spend some more time together this week..." He said in a quiet tone, making sure no one could listen to him.

"Oh, I would like to, but aren't you grounded?"

"Yeah. It doesn't have to be legit. We could meet secretly." Connor replied.

"I like when you behave like a bad boy!" I stated.

The bell rang and Connor then made his way to his first class. Matt and I went to our English class, where Mrs Shannon was already waiting for us.

[In the English class]
"Good morning, guys!" Mrs Shannon said.
"So today we are gonna talk about... coming of age difficulties. During spring break I want you to read a book, "Catcher  in the Rye". It will be the last book I am giving you to read, class of 2020" Mrs Shannon stated.

I must admit I felt a bit sad. I didn't know if I wanted to leave high school. On the one side, I wanted this hell to be over, on the other I felt like I would have missed all that, and that made me sad.

"Ok, first of all, some news. The school has organised a writing contest, named "Perspectives of the new generation". I will have to choose one of you, who will take part to the finals. The finals will be on Friday. Basically you will have to write a personal essay about a topic you will be given. If I had to pick one of you right now, I would choose Gabe. I am sorry for the others, but his grades are excellent. But since I want to give you all the opportunity to take part to the contest, I will adopt a new method. You will hand me an essay about today's lesson, comparing the difficulties that literary characters had to overcome with your daily difficulties."

Then she went on with her lesson. For the first time I paid attention. It was really interesting.
When the doorbell rang, I stopped at her desk to ask her if she had read my essay.

"Yes, Carson. I just wanted to talk about that in private. Come to my office."

"Can't we talk now?"

"No, later."

I nodded. Maybe she hadn't liked my text and I was ready to face my consequences.

[After lunch, at Mrs Shannon's office]
I entered her office after lunch and she was there, working on her laptop.
"Oh , Carson, please have a seat."

"Yes, Mrs Shannon" I said as I sat down in front of her.

"Listen I..." She began talking in a deep tone, but I interrupted her soon.

"I know it wasn't my best, but I put all myself in that essay. It was something that came from my heart. Please, don't make me fail this class."

"Mr Lueders, let me finish first" She yelled at me.

I silenced and let her conclude her speech.

"What I wanted to say is that your essay was so touching. It was intense. I could feel your problems. It was like you were dragging the reader in all your emotions. I loved it."

"So, am I not failing this class?" I mumbled.

"How could you? You got an A+!" She exclaimed.
I couldn't believe myself. I was so happy.

"Carson... Listen... I have also read about your situation with Connor. I was surprised at first, but what I think is the best for both of you is that you come out to the people around you. You can't keep it secret forever." She suggested me.

"I would like to, but I am not doing it for Connor. If I came out as gay or bi, people will start stalking me, in order to find out who my boyfriend is. Connor is too fragile, he is new to this town. He didn't deserve too much attention. I am waiting for him to do the first step."

"Don't you think it will be better for him, too? He feels protected right now, because he is like under your wing, but next year?"

She was right and she was not the first one telling me this. I thanked her again for the mark and the pieces of advice and left her room.

I was still convinced that Connor needed to do the first step, but I wanted to be sure that he was ready to do it.

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