Am I Reckless To Love You?

Realizing

BILLIE'S POV

I left the interview that day and immediately took to instagram. I had noticed that y/n had been commenting on my post a lot, little compliments here and there. I never actually looked too much into her.

I pulled up her account and essentially stalked her account. Whatever dude. Don't make it weird. I just wanna know if she'd be a good fit for a collab. I was right. She was hot.

Like I said in the interview. I knew she was hot, I meant what I said. She could get it. IF she were a guy.

It was when we started to get to know each other that my opinion started to change. My heart was practically beating out of my chest when I sent her that DM. I was a little scared she would be an egotistical asshole and kill the whole vibe. But she was chill as fuck.

I was even more nervous when I invited her over to work on a song. She was even hotter in person. I played it cool though. There was no awkwardness between us throughout our work. We actually became really close. I found myself texting her everyday. Worst of all. I found myself looking at a picture I took of her for instagram all the time. It was throughout our time making music that I realized she was just hot. She was beautiful. Inside and out. It scared me. I found myself wanting to be with her all the time, and learn everything about her. So I did just that.

You:
hey mamas, wanna go grab lunch?

Mamas🖤:
Is that even a question? Where we meeting?

You:
Don't be dumb dude, Imma pick you up

Mamas🖤:
Alright damn Eilish. I'll be waiting babygirl

My heart fluttered at the nickname. It wasn't the first time y/n called me it. I also don't think I'm the only girl she's said it to. I keep telling myself that at least. I don't know why it made me hurt a little though to think about her talking to other girls. Weird.

I picked her up for lunch. Everything was going great. Until I opened my big ass mouth.

"You'd make like the perfect boyfriend dude" I joked when she offered to pay for the meal, opened the door for me when we came in, and even took my jacket before we sat down. I looked back up at her after the comment to catch the tail end of an eye roll.
"Y/n I'm sorry if that-"

"No Bils it's fine" she smiled, it was definitely half hearted. I looked back down and prodded my food with my fork. Y/n noticed. She reached her hand across the small table and placed it over mine. "I'm serious hun, it's fine. I get it a lot from girls." She chuckled. I gave her a sheepish smile in response.

"Still, I'm sorry. That was in poor taste. I don't want you to feel led on by me." I sighed.

"And why would I feel like that?" She huffed. "Because I'm a lesbian I'm not allowed to just be friends with a girl?" She was clearly annoyed and once again I regretted my words immediately.

"What!? No dude, that's not what I-" I paused. How the fuck do I word this without making her more pissed than she already is. "I mean like-"

Suddenly she started to laugh. "Fuck you should've seen your face" she covered her mouth to quite down her laughs as not to disturb the others around us.

I shot a glare at her. "what the fuck man. that's not cool." I tried to be mad but I couldn't help but laugh with her. I wasn't lying though. We would be perfect together. Conversation was easy with her. If, she were a man... of course.