Am I Reckless To Love You?

Falling Apart

Y/N POV:
The sunlight hit my face, I winced at the pain that shot through my head at the suddenly intrusion of light from the curtains. I open my eyes, covering the sun spot with my head as I look around to... an empty bed?

I remember every second of last night. It was definitely fuzzy, but how could I forget it. The room I was staying in however, looked unchanged. Almost as if it never happened. I stood up and looked for any signs that it wasn't just a dream. I practically ran to the mirror and came face to face with a dark purple bruise on the side of my neck. Okay. Not a dream. Fuck. Where's Billie?

I rush out of the room in nothing but my boxers and a baggy t-shirt that hung loosely on my tall and scrawny frame. I ran straight into Finneas. "Woah," He reached his arms out to steady me, taking in the panicked look on my face, he squeezed my arms tight. "Hey? y/n?" I slowly looked up at him. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"uh" I definitely couldn't tell him me and Billie had... ya know.. she's not out and I would never put someone. That's just fucked up. "I just, I can't find Bils anywhere." He looked at me with a nod, almost like he knew exactly what had happened.

"Honestly... She left this morning. She said she was going to get some air" I sighed with relief, at least she's safe. I can text her and we can talk about everything that happened.

You:
one week ago
Hey... we need to talk

Billie?

four days ago
Dude I can't literally see that you're reading this

two days ago
Okay leaving me on delivered now
Fuck dude, fine then we can pretend it never happened, you're still like my best friend
don't go

yesterday
please...

today
Billie🥵 changed your name to Y/N.

You:
ouch..
sorry it ever happened.
see you around Eilish.

Two weeks later

She hasn't texted me since. She still post on instagram. She seems fine I guess. She never smiles in her pictures anymore. All her captions are really dark. I just wish I knew what was going on with her. I was pulled from my thoughts at the sound of a knock on my door. I knew it was Colson and Pete. They've seen me wallowing in my house for weeks. I haven't gone out or even really texted them since essentially being ghosted by a girl who I think I fell harder for than any other woman. I have been working on a song. I haven't gotten it all down yet. I still don't know what to do for the chorus. I'm sure it'll come to me when more of the pain of being rejected comes flooding back. I just want to know what the hell happened. What the fuck did I do so wrong.

"Yo! Let us in little dude!" Colson's voice yelled through the wooden door.
"Yeah bestie!" Pete chimed in. I rolled my eyes and rolled off the couch, practically dragging myself up and to the door. I swing it open and glare at the two boys. The look on their face is honestly priceless.

"Dude... You look like you're gunna kill us or something" Pete laughs. He was always been a little on the weirder side. He said the stupidest shit. I love him for it. "Anyways get dressed little homie we're going shopping" He says waving his lanky arms in the air in a jazz hand kinda way.

I roll my eyes. "Isn't that a little girly for you two?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Nah man, we're buying the new nike air forces that came out. They got them in this sick new pink and gold shit and then Pete wants to see the new green and yellow ones." Colson defends himself. "Plus it's your birthday dude. the big 2.1. So shopping, me and Pete you something nice. Then we go get fucked and you forget all about that bitch who broke you're heart" he said with a nod of his head and crossing his arms. I laughed a little. I know Billie was "a bitch" in any way. I've been giving her the benefit of the doubt so far. Plus a little drinking isn't going to make me forget her, that won't be happening any time soon.