Sinner and Saint

Chapter Twelve

*Trigger warning: This chapter contains themes of sexualization, violence and abuse.

It's been a couple years since I last saw Cece.

The plan after we moved back to LA was to resume life as it had been when we used to live there. Obviously, much had changed since then, including my relationship with my mother. So after moving her into the new house, I took my still-packed bags and shipped out to Cobalt Bay, only managing to visit again for the first couple of years when she'd guilt-tripped me into showing up for Christmas and her birthday.

I didn't lie to Stellan when I said I didn't blame my mother for what happened with Warren. While better guidance might have steered me away from that terrible decision, I ultimately made that call because it was the only one that made the most sense to me at that time. But it didn't take long to realize that my poor judgement was years in the making and in the near two decades of my life that led up to that turning point, only one person featured prominently. All of a sudden, I couldn't respect or accept her decisions but she was also the only person I loved unconditionally in my life.

Well, there's the one you not only let get away but shoved straight to the exit.

Stellan left Darby just a couple days ago.

I couldn't stay.

Mind blank, I'd booked a ticket to Cobalt Bay the day after but when I showed up at the airport after a long drive, I couldn't get on that plane.

I can only break his heart once. Better now and never again.

I should've never gotten us to this point.

I should've never done the same thing I accused Rachel of doing—leading him on when it could only go nowhere.

And this was my only opportunity to set him free before I could inflict more damage.

So here I was, in LA instead.

It wasn't where I wanted to be.

But it was the only home I knew.

I knocked and to no surprise, Carmela opened the door.

The woman joined our household after we moved down south. She's a widow with no children and had needed work, and even though we could barely afford it at the beginning, my mother saw it as a detraction from her image to have no housekeeper. My mother is completely unable to fend for herself. She can't cook, clean, do laundry, pay bills, etc. I picked up most of those responsibilities after we couldn't pay for a staff anymore. We hired Carmela against my better judgement at that time because my mother reassured me that Warren would pay her salary and those of the additional staff she'd be hiring as soon as I was married to him. Turns out, Carmela was the only good thing that came out of that disastrous time at Mission Hill. Not only was she more than competent in running our household, she could handle Cece in all her moods. When she offered to tag along with us back to LA, I agreed with no hesitation which was lucky considering I bolted as soon as I could. The fact that she would keep Cece not only alive but on the straight and narrow (as much as one could with my mother anyway) let me sleep a little better at night.

"Kady, good of you to visit every now and then," was her quiet greeting after one glance at me. She stepped back inside and motioned for me to set aside my carry-on in the foyer. "Can't say it's the best time but your company is much more welcome than what we're currently tolerating."

I raised a brow and looked around. The house was by no means a matchbox but it wasn't anywhere near the ridiculous mansions Cece had us living in during the short-lived glory days of her acting career. We moved through a dozen of them before I was sixteen, every house getting smaller and humbler each time in proportion to what Cece had left of her money.