Sinner and Saint

Chapter Fifteen

It really did seem like a secret world out here.

At the end of rows and rows of apple trees that stretched from the back of the mansion, several burly oaks clustered into a grove to border the property. Large, gnarled branches heavy with leaves loomed high above, shrouding the clearing in dreamlike shadows that blended at the edges with the glow of lights strung throughout the tree lines.

I could happily get lost in here and stay forever.

Well, maybe not forever. At least until this night is over.

It tested my discipline when a few men tried to chat me up once I was alone but I did my best to neatly side-step them and slowly make my way here. So far, everyone's noses stayed intact, balls likely blue considering my dress, but at least not bruised and battered.

That was almost half an hour ago, not too long after Vivienne was forced to abandon me at her father's arrival. Well, she probably thought I was right behind her but I slipped away.

I needed fresh air after she took me around a tour of the upper level which allowed her to conduct an almost surgical interrogation of my history. She knew the usual things people knew about me—the house and Jonah, my brief marriage to Warren, the series of men with some degree of influence who'd tried to corner me and got burned for it publicly. It was almost like she knew what she wanted to hear each time but I was unsparing when it came to my share of the blame. As much as I didn't want to make myself the bad guy in her eyes, I wanted her to understand why I thought I was bad news to her brother. I can't say that I'm that much better for Stellan now but I'd sworn to be honest at every opportunity so I was.

Finally, at the end of it, I had to ask her the question that had been nagging at me throughout our entire conversation, "You're not worried about Stellan being with someone so damaged?"

She gave me an enigmatic smile and looked at me straight in the eye. "If I couldn't see beyond someone's dark, scarred past, I wouldn't be married to the man I love. What someone has been through is important but it's what they become after all of it that really matters."

I'm not sure if I was relieved by her answer, or further pressured not to veer off the path.

Time would tell, I guess.

So after that near overdose of familiarity with just one member of Stellan's family, I decided I could run into Jack Cartwright another time. I really couldn't handle another revelation, in case he remembered who was wearing Stellan's shirt the morning after his break-up with Rachel.

And I especially didn't want to see Lily interacting with Jack and the rest of Stellan's family and friends while perched on his arm like she'd always belonged there.

I came here tonight simultaneously hoping for, and fearing, a lot of things, not knowing what I would find.

But now you have and the path is clear. It's a lone walk home, Kady.

Vivienne seemed convinced my appearance here tonight was enough.

That I could be a choice again.

A contender for Stellan's heart.

But I didn't want a contest out of this.

It wouldn't be fair to turn his world on its ear because I finally decided I wanted what he'd offered—something I'd refused years ago.

Not when he'd moved on with his life.

A life I made him put on hold for long enough already on the stupid hope that I would spend it with him.