━━ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃
❝ just because I think about kissing girls doesn't mean I'm gay! ❞
in which... you're closeted life
suddenly opens up to a world
your parents hid you from for years.
C...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
THE STEAM ENCOMPASSES you as you stand in the shower, holding yourself and letting the piercing hot water splash against your skin. Your breathing getting heavier and heavier the more thoughts that ran through your head. A shower was a place that truly left you alone with your thoughts. Wether you sang your heart out, created an argument in your head or watched a showroom the inside — the shower was a place that allowed you to let yourself be.
At this point in time, you didn't know who you were. Everything you thought you knew about yourself felt...wrong. You used to think you could never make fiends, that your self sabotaging and awkward personality would drive everyone away to the point of no return, you never imaged yourself to be happy in college. Just like everyday in your old life, you thought you'd be alone again. But here you were. It'd only been 4 days since you got here and yet you already felt happier here than you ever did back "home". It was strange.
Strange how your entire closeted, close off life you'd never thought someone could be on your mind this much. You tried and you tried to push her out of your mind but that bored yet teasing expression of hers couldn't be painted over with a simple thought. Her soft blonde hair that brushed against your cheek anytime she bent down to our height, her cold long finger that always seemed to find a way on you every time she came around, that mocking tone she had under voice it all sent you into a frenzy. She was definitely the girl your parents had warned you about. While lacking in a bright blue Mohawk on her head, Yelena definitely participated in acts of...sin in more ways than one. With Pieck nonetheless.
Damn, if only you were Pieck
You shook your head sharply at the intrusive thought and immediately shut off the now freezing cold water. But you didn't move. Your hand hovered over the faucet after shutting it off, almost replaying those words in your head. Insecurities weren't a new concept to you, quite a regular occurrence honestly— yet you couldn't pinpoint why you wanted to be Pieck. Was it her beauty? Her kind voice? Her kind everything? Was it Yelena?
A sharp sting drew a hiss out of your mouth upon realizing how hard you were biting down on your lip, touching the sensitive area carefully before fully stepping out of the shower and wrapping a fluffy white towel around your naked frame. The cold air did nothing to help as you entered your room and began changing. Pieck had already went off to pick up dinner leaving you to have the room all to yourself.
It'd been only a day since your last interaction with Yelena but that didn't stop her from constantly running around in your mind throughout the day. It was a pain. A pain not knowing how to know how t feel or figure out how you feel. A pain knowing how easy it is for everyone else, so why was it so hard for you?
