Here's to a New 'We' || Jungkook x Reader

Adult Play Date

Ch.24

Nope. It wasn't Saturday. Jungkook would continue lying to himself until that was true. He refused to believe it even when he rolled off his bed. His nude body crashed onto the creamy brown wooden floor causing him to groan in pain. A friendly slap to remind him of his reality. He really needs to put bars up or something so he doesn't fall off. The cold was too much for his bare skin. Then again, maybe he could stop sleeping naked...nah. Jungkook sat up to stretch his back, hissing when he heard his bones crack. Is this what aging feels like? He hates it. Stop!

"This is bullsh*t," Jungkook grumbled. He glared at the ground, his blanket falling off the side of his bed. It was already pooling around his waist to cover his lower half. Not that he really cared to be decent at the moment. Nothing mattered anymore. Today was Saturday...the day he watches Yejun and gives you a forced smile as you go off with some...some guy who wasn't him. "...I hate this."

This was stupid. This was so stupid only because he's known for a while now. He had time to accept that this was happening. He was supposed to tell himself this was okay. Jungkook practiced in front of the mirror, wanting himself to believe that taking care of Yejun would be enough. He licked his dry lips as his eyes remained on the dark brown wooden floors. He didn't care about the coldness against his skin anymore. It stung like pins, but he let it attack him. If it was more pain to distract him from what he was feeling then he would take it.

Why was he feeling so strongly about this? That's what frustrated Jungkook most of all. He hardly knew you! Why did this crush have him crumbling so easily? It made him feel painfully pathetic to just be awake. He was supposed to brush this all off as nothing. Except it was way too hard to ignore. Why? Why? Having a crush control him so much like this made no sense. He needed to tolerate this one date to focus on taking care of Yejun. He wanted that. He wanted to be the mature guy you needed and could rely on...but instead he was the boy trembling on his bedroom floor who couldn't tell why he was so upset. D*mn emotions!

It was just that for the first time in a long time...you were the only person who seemed to truly smile in this cruel world. Hoseok had turned bitter, his parents were disappointed, and everyone around him didn't have time to even breathe anymore. In Jungkook's eyes, you were defying all the odds even with everything that life has thrown at you. It left him completely amazed. That's why he put you on such a high pedestal. You were the adult that he thought of so highly. You had everything together in his eyes. A respectable job, a home, stable income, and you were even raising someone on your own. That alone wasn't easy to begin with.

He got a crush on you first! What did this guy have that he didn't? What is it? What was what you were looking for that Jungkook didn't have? It must have been something that you never believed he would be able to achieve. If he could change your mind—if you believed he could change your mind—you wouldn't have accepted this date. You wouldn't have thought that this other guy could offer you something Jungkook couldn't. This guy...Jungkook already hated him. This faceless man that made his chest burn with fury.

"God d*mn it, why? Why not...me?" Jungkook was ready to shout and throw a pillow. Instead his throat became tight, reminding him of how sensitive he was. Violence wasn't his first thought. But the familiar sensation of his eyes burning, tears prickling and blinding his vision...those he was used to. His chest was heavy as he tried to catch his breath. Words were too hard to speak out loud.

Pathetic.

That's what he's always been and that's why you didn't want him. Could he blame you at this point? What woman wants her child to be raised by someone like Jungkook? He was an absolute joke. He could never be good enough for you or Yejun. And even if that was true, he didn't want to give up. He was desperate to prove himself any way he could. He was willing to keep giving himself to you so you wouldn't have to worry as much. Anything he could do to make you feel better then he wanted to do it. Whatever it took. Even if it left him feeling emptier than he already was...