𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐁𝐎𝐘 | sasuke uchiha

Chapter Twenty Two - My Anaconda Isn't Interested

[Sasuke's P.O.V]

Sakura's so called operation began straight after our oh so heartbreaking break up, and quite frankly, I was pretty sure she had no idea what she was doing.

"Do you know what you're doing?" I hissed as we got back into my car, the pinkette furiously pulling her seat belt on. 

She nodded confidently, giving me an "Mmm!"

***

[Normal P.O.V]

I woke up to the sound of someone banging on my bedroom window, and groaned as I forced myself to roll out of bed. Thankfully, my curtains were dark enough to keep the light from filtering in, so it was just the environment a bedhead like me needed to indulge in their sleep in. Tearing the curtains aside, I greeted the bastard who dared to wake me up with a dark, menacing scowl, only to see Sasuke flanked by Sakura.

"Do you know what time it is?!" I yelled back, banging my fist back in return. Sakura blinked, and the Uchiha rolled his eyes at me, motioning for me to open my front door.

"Midday, loser. Get up, we're going out."

"I don't want to be a third wheel!" I whined, having a mini tantrum on the spot. "Besides, I rejected hanging out with Suigetsu today, so I feel guilty about going with you guys!"

"Oh, no, [Name], I'm not coming!" called Sakura, cupping her mouth with a hand. "I just came by to see Sasuke off!" I blinked out of confusion and my fresh-out-of-bed reflexes.

"What? Are you going somewhere?" The Haruno giggled, and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah. I want you two to have some quality friendship time, yanno? I know how hard it is when your best friend finds a significant other, and I really don't want to get in between the beautiful relationship you and Sasuke have now."

I tried to keep a straight face, but failed.

"PFFT! Beautiful? As if! Sasuke is the most arrogant, stubborn, stupid-haired-"

"Okay, we get it!" cut off the Uchiha warningly, glaring at me. I smirked, and crossed my arms.

"Sure, whatever floats your boat. So, Sakura, what are you going to do in the meantime?"

She smiled brightly up at me; it was so sweet, however, that it almost seemed... dangerous. Like... she was one of those serial killers disguised as a nice, innocent woman.

"I might just pay Suigetsu a visit- it's worthwhile for me to try and build what little friendships I have, right?" she cooed, looking at Sasuke out of the corner of her eye. He didn't seem to notice, however, and then I knew what was going on.

Oh... I thought, struck with realisation. I saw what was going on. Sakura so doesn't trust Sasuke, hahahahaha. Is today meant to be some kind of test of his faithfulness? Lmao. And- is she trying to use Suigetsu to make Sasuke jealous? Bruhhhhhhhh.

"Oh Sakura. How I love you and your twisted little mind," I sighed wistfully, pouting at the pinkette. "I wish I was as devious as you."

Sasuke and Sakura both exchanged looks, looking very confused and borderline, "what the hell is she talking about?" I winked at Sakura, garnering a suspicious look from her raven haired boyfriend, and a confused blink from the Haruno herself.

"I'm not being weird, I swear," I said, raising my hands in defence. Sasuke looked like he was going to say something, but then thought better of it and shook his head with a frown.

"Just hurry up and get ready," he scowled, banging on the closed window again. I poked my tongue out at him.

"Go around to the front! I don't want you perving on me and my buns while I get changed!" I shrieked indignantly, my eyes bulging as I tried to pull out a scary face. Sasuke smirked, and cut me off before I could finish my punchline.

"Oh, but my dear [Name], you seem to have forgotten that my anaconda isn't interested." 

Stuttering, I flushed brightly as I flipped him the bird, before turning around furious that he'd beaten me at my own joke. The nerve he had, to steal my joke like that! He stole my thunder! He stole my thunder!

"Go to hell!"

"Be ready in ten. And don't dress like a hobo, stripper, or street rat."

"Hn!"

Note: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it's the return of the infamous "Anaconda" joke! Hahahahahahaha I swear that's becoming a part of this story omfg. I'm not even sorry for my terrible sense of humour :")