Broken angel

5

𝔗𝔤𝔢 𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯

ℨ

And then I started to read...

Dear Toby

First at all I want you to know that none of this is your fault. You are the only person I  think I actually love. Everyone else has left me. And it hurts me to do this to you. Then I want you to know how grateful I am of you. From the first moment you saw me, it was like you decided that you would never leave my side. And you never did. Thank you. I'm grateful for the way you always stood up for me, made up false reasons for me not being at school. And letting me sleep at your place when i really didn't want to be at home. And all the times I felt like shit you would always make me happy. Thank you.

I also wants to tell you how proud I am of you. Who would have thought that the nice kid that lived next door to me, who used most of his time playing Minecraft would get famous. And fuck you have over 1 million followers on twitch and I'm happy to say that I was your first one. I'm so proud of how far you have come.

And then second of all I want you to know something about me. Do you remember that night you came running into my bedroom and hugged me after my mom had died. The day before I had tried to take my own life but I couldn't do it so I went to bed and if you hadn't ran into my room that night I would have left way earlier. I don't think you saw the pills that I had showed under my bed.

And then I want you to know how much I love you. I would have traveled all the way around the world if it meant saving you. And I don't just love you, I'm in love with you. I have been ever since you gave me that lilac Iris for my eleventh birthday. I don't think you knew that after that my favorite color has always been lilac.

You also made me love my name. I used to think it was weird and stupid to be named after a flower and then you told me that the flower meant wisdom, hope, trust and valor. You told me it was fitting for me, because you thought I was wise and I gave you hope. That I was trustworthy and valiant. And then when I went home I searched up what Toby meant, I never told you. It means god of good. And I would say with my hand on my heart that you Toby are my god of good.

This letter can't be forever long so the last thing I need to tell you is that when my mother died I realized that the only reason that I was still living was well you, and now I have to leave. I don't love me, I hope that you do. Death took her, and now it's going to take me. And I'm not scared, death is like an old friend always on the other side of the door, and it's your choice to welcome him inside, and I made that decision.

I love you Toby I always did and I always will, till death part us. I was always yours and I hope that you was mine. You know where I am. Yours forever Iris, the one who knew that death would take her

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