Light in darkness

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"What words can describe how much you mean to me. I could think of a few but I fear they wouldn't capture how I truly feel about you. And I apologize for the way I confused you and broke your heart. I am just too naive and inexperienced. I wanted it to work so bad that I freaked myself out with my overthinking. And I'm terribly sorry for that. But my dear it just proves what I'm trying to tell you. I am too young for this. I am not ready to marry there for I am not ready to date. And please don't feel like you have to wait on me. I wouldn't wait on me. But I want you to know it wasn't fake. I care a lot. And I have countless tears to confirm that. Please find that perfect women for you. Someone that won't doubt their relationship with you. Someone who is ready for marriage and puts their 100% in. I wish I could but I am unprepared. Maybe one day we'll meet again but until then I wish you the best. "
-RVG

" it didn't make sense, You and I. We kept on trying but it never turned out. And I'm sorry it ended the way it did. But I wish you only the best in life. And I fear we would have destroyed ourselves if we kept trying to make it work. For we are young and have lots to learn. So let's let life take its turn."
-RVG

"It wasn't fair what you said to me. And it wasn't fair how I acted towards you. We both messed up and now we are where we are now."
-RVG

"It hurt a lot... I cried for hours every day. Nothing made sense and all I could feel was pain. I was in such agony I couldn't help but try and put it out. And I'm happy I did, I just wish there was a way I could have put it out without breaking your heart along the way."
-RVG

"Why does it hurt so much the girl cry's out. She takes a stuttering breath and try's her best to compose herself. I thought it would bring more relief then pain she states bitterly. But deep down the girl knows it brought relief, and the reason she's upset is because she didn't want to admit the pain she was in."
-RVG

"It's hard for me to look at you. And it's hard for me to see the places where we once stood together. I know in time that will fade away. But I know you won't. Even as we grow apart I'll still remember the fun we had. I'll still remember the adventures we took. And I'll always be thankful that you were in my life. Even if it was only for a small amount of time."
-RVG

"Go ahead and hate me. I don't blame you. I hate myself for the way I handled things. But that's how you learn and grow. Now i know what not to do. And you can move on and find the person you're meant to be with."
-RVG

"I'm sorry, and I wish you could hear me say that. But it wouldn't change anything, so I'm glad you can't."
-RVG

"Why would you say that to me? You know how much that word breaks me. If you really wanted me to stay you would have let me go. Instead you lost your cool and called me that unbearably painful word."
-RVG

"You had become my safety, and now you've been stripped away like a bandage."
-RVG

"I'm not trying to blame you for my lack of sleep. But it's because of you I don't get any."
-RVG

"My fear is crippling. It poisons my mind and keeps me awake at night. It floods my thoughts and causes me to overthink. It paralyzes me and makes my eyes unfocused. And I don't know how to stop it, so I'll stay strong and push through it even if no ones there to help me."
-RVG

" I lay in bed every night Wondering why I can't just fall asleep. I miss the girl I used to be. The one that loved sleep more than anything. But now I fear going to bed. Cause I can't close my eyes without re living the pain. And the dark scares me more now that my safety is gone."
-RVG

"What happened to that sunshine girl? The girl that always laughed and kept up the energy. The girl that overflowed with hopes and dreams. The girl that loved unconditionally and could never hurt a soul. She was the one that loved that happy color or so she'd say. Tell me what  happened to her?"
-RVG

"Not everyone gets their dream. In fact not many at all get their dream. Only the ones that know the key to life have it. The ones that knew how to get there. The ones that worked hard and never gave up. The ones that love themselves and know who they are. They are the ones that had their dreams come true."
-RVG

" it gets better. I know it's rough but it always turns around. As soon as you feel like your at the end of your rope that's when you see the rainbow."
-RVG

" I thought for a moment that my life would end. That I'd die right there in the middle of the road. What better way to go then to be hit by a moving chunk of medal. I thought, slightly laughing at the thought. No. If I was to die I'd want it to be for something or someone. Not to go by the hand of a random stranger that wasn't paying attention to the crosswalk signal. I shake my head at the driver as we lock eyes. How completely stupid can you get? I think irritatedly."
-RVG

"Why would you ask me what I want if you're only going to trick me into what you want?"
-RVG

" will I ever find love again? Will I ever meet someone that can be someone with me? Yes yes I think I will find it again. I will find someone that I can complete."
-RVG

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