Burning Desire (Alastor X Reader)

Chapter 46: Please, not now!

*

After saying goodbye to everyone, you went home as Lilith advised. That evening you took care to load your gun, close your shutters, and lock your door. You didn't want to take any risks with demons like the Triple V.

Once that was done you slumped down in your couch and looked at nothing but the wall in front of you for what seemed like hours.

Too much had happened for your brain, first Valentino's implicit threats, Vox's attempt to watch the hotel, your meeting with the queen and...

You violently bit your lower lip as the image of the smiling deer came to your mind. With a tired sigh you buried your face in your hands and let some insults escape from your mouth.

You didn't know what you hated the most about that evening. Valentino? Vox? Your memories of purgatory? Having almost slept with your colleague who exasperated you and drove you crazy every day while you were supposed to be with BF/N? You didn't even know how you felt about the last option, you should be more angry with yourself, and yet something deep inside you refused to regret what had happened.

"What a night..." You murmured as you stood up and poured yourself a verse of alcohol. Suddenly your shadow appeared in front of you and looked at you with a begging look.

Although the sight of it turned your stomach, you simply shrugged your shoulders and sat back on your couch.

"I'm not going to get drunk if that's what you're worried about. Leave me alone now." You asked sternly.

Your shadow didn't seem really convinced but moved out of your sight. Leaving you alone with only a glass of alcohol to keep you company.

You didn't say anything for several minutes. You wet your lips from time to time, and then sometimes you would change positions on your couch reflecting on everything that had happened tonight.

"Tell me" You asked abruptly

Your shadow looked like it had jumped and then nodded to tell you that it was listening to you.

"Do you think... I made a mistake tonight? I mean, you're sort of me, so you know what I'm talking about, right?"

Your shadow looked at you for a moment, and then she responded by moving her hands gently.

"I miss BF/N too, but wouldn't he want you to be happy?"

"That's what I tell myself to reassure myself." You replied, "Honestly I think he would understand, but it's just that we're talking about- " A forced laughter coming out of your mouth. "A narcissistic guy who almost killed me when we first met, who likes to laugh at other people's misfortunes and thinks only about having fun. He thinks of nothing but himself and what others can bring him. He is just like him."

Your shadow gave you a compassionate smile and then sat down beside you as a friend would have done to comfort and advise you.

"I don't think you... we felt something for him, did we?"

"Of course not." You answered with contempt because the answer was so obvious.

"Then why did it almost go too far tonight?"

«...»

You lowered your eyes. It's true that Alastor shared some differences with your boss. Their humor was similar, but Alastor was much funnier than he was, and then, unlike him, Alastor had a much nicer voice if you had to be honest.

A small mocking smile appeared on your lips and you couldn't hold back a little giggle. Now you were trying to find qualities in this deer to reassure you.