Asterisk*

Gorgons and Graeae*

*The stare of stone, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth

The snakes,

Poisonous as the come,

Sinking a bite into the eye.

Snake sliced in half,

Poison seeped into the heart,

Veins,

Eye.

Apollo

When you're a teenager, everything feels the most real that it will ever feel. Even the same feelings won't feel the same later. It's your first high, the first time you feel most of these things. There's nothing else like it. You can spend your entire life searching for that same feeling, but you'll never find it. The headspace you're in will never be the same. It's the rawest and truest form of emotion you'll ever feel, but also the most scarring and harmful it can ever be. Not that emotions aren't always like that, but the teen mindset multiplies that by a hundred, determined to make you feel every end of the spectrum within a second.

Teenagers are honestly the toughest people. They're never taken seriously, but they have a voice that everyone is convinced they can use to reach the people in the depths of hell. The heart is so fragile, so full of hate and love at the same time. It's pictured bloody and beautiful all at the same time, a squeeze of blood too much and that might end. The angst, the sadness, the pain; these emotions adults are convinced they can't feel consume their entire being. It hurts, being the one to know that. Knowing that it'll end with a knife in the place where you hold dearest. But they do it anyways because they think that they can get through it. For the most part, they are successful, but not without help.

Loneliness in the world is only as lonely as everyone else makes it. It's never you. It's the world, crazy and big, the never ending universe that brings everyone together and separates them all at the same time. Sometimes you'll be thrashing out, reaching for every person near you, but they refuse to connect, refuse to hold your hand before you go over the edge. Then, you're alone, and it's your fault for not trying hard enough.

I wasn't planning on going to Marcus'. Really, I didn't. I had all of my stuff packed and I was going down the hallway, leaving just how I had planned it. I was way too scared to approach him in the first place. That never really happened to me before. I had been nervous before, but scared is a whole different situation. It's a feeling I would never like to feel ever again. But I don't think I can stop feeling it if I don't go to him. Sure, I could regret every word I said, but I know for sure I would if I didn't. So I let my feet take me where they wanted me to go, ending up in the frame of Marcus' dorm room.

Someone who looked a lot like him whizzed past me, so I assumed it was his brother, since he was nowhere close to being the age his dad would be. It threw me off for a second. I almost turned around and went back, not wanting to ruin his day. But then I saw the corner of Marcus' jacket poking out, and I went up, trying with every single fiber in my being not to cry.

At first, he wasn't looking up at me. But once he did, it was like everything in the busy hallway felt silent for a moment, standing still so Marcus and I could dance along with the beautiful songs in our heart. The world, all of its craziness, all of its ridiculous background noise, all of it, just died down for us, for all the quiet heartbeats that told the story of our lives will all the love we gave. But then I looked up, trying to form a sentence to bring all of my chaotic thoughts together.