ᵢcₐᵣᵤₛ ~ Dᵢᵣₖ Gₑₙₜₗy ✅

How Not To Break Into An Apartment

"I can't believe I'm letting you lead me into this situation." Sicillian rubbed the back of her neck as she watched Dirk try and position a stray dumpster in line with the window.

"I can't believe you're following me, if I'm being honest." The British man had dashed back to his car to get his beloved jacket, a leather piece of bright yellow, which the green eyed female found she actually quite liked.

"Yeah, well, the universe was never gonna let me sit on the bench for long." The brunette man paused and turned back to her, head cocked to the side in confusion.

"What's sitting on a bench got to do with it?" Sicillian rolled her eyes and chuckled slightly, remembering her friend's issues with idioms.

"It's a sport metaphor... Nevermind." She walked over to help move the dumpster until it was directly under the balcony they would have to climb up on to get to the man's apartment.

"How do you even know this is the right one?" Sicillian asked as she hauled herself up on top of the bin.

"Hunch." Dirk shrugged, pulling himself up beside her less gracefully.

"Of course."

After a brief scramble upwards and the British man needing a lot of help, the two made it outside the window, with only a few bruises from the climb. Staring in through the dingy window revealed a perfectly normal apartment layout. The standard couch, TV and kitchen.

"After you." Sicillian offered, flipping the outside catch on the window and allowing her yellow clad companion to enter. Dirk was halfway through the window when he paused quite suddenly. A quick glance from the brunette woman revealed that the owner of the apartment was home. And he was armed with a shoe.

"Hi!"

All it took was one well aimed hit to send Dirk falling inside with a high pitched shriek.

Sicillian watched with a sort of bemused dismay as the owner, a short man with almost black hair, dressed in a bellhop's uniform started towards her friend and began to attack him. Neither were skilled fighters, and the kerfuffle was comprised of many ineffective movements. The brunette sighed, using the disruption as an opportunity to climb through the window herself. Just as she did so, the shorter man pulled back, before aiming a surprisingly accurate punch to Dirk's jaw. She winced.

"Okay, now you're gonna get the-" Her yellow jacketed friend drew back, badly imitating a ninja with the stupid noises to accompany. But when the darker haired man advanced towards him, the blue eyed man instead lept over the kitchen counter and rolled painfully to the floor with a groan.

Sicillian followed the apartment owner silently with a look of ironic interest as he once again made his way over to Dirk with the intent of attack. After a few seconds of intense shoving by the microwave, the man in the bellhop uniform was pushed away.

"What the hell man?!" Dirk exclaimed, clearly very affronted about the whole affair.

"You, what the hell? No, me what the hell!" The man who owned the apartment spoke for the first time, voice shaky with adrenaline. It was then he looked over and finally saw Sicillian. "Oh Jesus Christ there's two of you!"

"Sorry." The brunette woman shrugged in the least sorry tone before sidestepping next to the British man.

"How did you guys get in here?" He shouted.

"The window, obviously, do you attack everyone who comes in here? Seems like a weird policy but live and let live." Dirk rambled to him.

"You can't just break into my apartment!" Was the exasperated reply.