Just When I Thought You Were Mine (A Pierce The Veil Fanfiction)

Chapter 7 - Can barely say your name

SONG - SORRY BY SLEEEPING WITH SIRENS
VIC'S POV

"Yeah we really do-"

"First of all, are you ok after your accident? "

Accident? Oh. She means the anxiety incident and the hospital trip.

"Yeah.  It was just, you know, anxiety."

"I'm sorry if I caused that." Elle kept a very serious tone but I could hear the clear pain through her voice, as if she was trying to resist tears. "Jaime says you're pretty cut up about this. He says I should listen to your side of the story"

"I've been wanting you to"

"Not over the phone. I'm outside your block of flats now. If you're willing to let me in, I want to talk" She was talking with little emotion in her voice and it simply crushed me.

"Of course I'll let you in. You're always welcome here." I heard the dial tone sound and realised she had hung up. My breaths seemed short rationed and I felt my hand shake. I dashed to my room and put on my skinny jeans so I looked at least a little bit presentable. After struggling into them I sat on the bed and tried to catch my breath, managing to at least calm it down a little. I threw on a sweat shirt to cover my arms. It's not that I don't trust her, I just didn't want her to freak out and get upset over me. Again. I got up and started pacing the flat, picking up litter and odd socks to prevent it looking as though I'd stopped caring in the past few weeks. I noticed that on the wall, there was still the massive collage of photos we'd created last summer. It was 7ft tall by 9ft, covering all of the wall. We'd printed over 300 photos in a variety of sizes. Lots of them were of us but some of them contained images of friends or family or places we'd seen together. I snapped out of my daydream and made my way to the door.

Then I heard a knock.

I turned the latch and took a deep breath. Opening the door cautiously, I saw Elle. Her long brunnete hair was in a braid to the left of her head and she wore some jeans and a tshirt. Something was different, however. Her legs stood a lot thinner than they had a while ago. She was wearing make up but her face showed me tiredness. She looked up and opened her emerald piercing eyes and I knew she was still Elle.

"Elle"

"Hello Vic"

"Please come i-" She brushed past me and went to sit on the sofa next to my guitar. She sat delicately on the edge, as you may in a formal situation. "Would you like a drink?"

"No. Thank you." After this reply there followed a long silence, difficult to endure. After a while she spoke up."We need to talk"

"I know. I-"

"Before you start vic, I have to say this. What you did. What happened. It's destroyed me, Vic. It's completely ruined me. I've been trying to take my mind off of things but Nothing's worked. Not music, not my job - nothing. I tried not to let it hurt. I tried not to let everything rely on one person but when it's been needed, everything has just fallen apart." She looked on the verge of tears.

"Elle, you don't understand. You didn't see what happened. You only saw the aftermath. Let me explain. She was some fan we'd invited to the after party. I don't know who she was. I stepped outside for fresh air. That's all I did. I was slightly pissed, yes, but I knew what I was doing. That girl was beyond it. She'd had way too much. She shoved me against the wall and I couldn't touch her. If I'd of pushed her, she could've hurt herself falling and she was so tipsy she'd easily have fallen over. If I'd had tried to defend myself it may have disrespected or hurt her. Besides, with me being slightly pissed, my reaction time was slow. I didn't move in time and I'm sorry but you have to understand I wasn't cheating on you. I didn't choose to do it. It just happened and I'm sorry that I did nothing about it because I have regretted it every day since."  Her head was hung looking at her knees. I put my hand under her chin and lifted her head to look at me. I wiped her tears away "Elle, don't cry."

"Vic, I'm so confused I don't know what to do. I believe you but at the same time I'm scared" her face erupted into showers of tears. I threw my guitar elsewhere and sat next to her, pulling her into ny chest.

"Elle, baby, don't cry. I know it's hard but you have to know that I love you and I always have. I've not loved anyone else this way and nor will I ever as long as I know you. Yes, I've made mistakes and yes I'm a total waste of space but I just want you back. These few weeks have been so hard. I should have called but I couldn't encourage myself to do it. I thought you would just push me away and I couldn't face that. It hurt that we weren't talking and it's made me a nervous wreck. I tried to go round to your house but you were out. I gathered you were getting on with life. I gathered you didn't want to see me and when I did see you, I didn't know what to do. I froze and my whole body froze and my head started spinning. I remember you leaving and I just let it all go. I've been so worried about you and how you've coped. I wondered whether you've been doing well or whether you've been the same as I am. Part of me wants you to feel the same way as I do because I want you back so badly. But if you have, I know you'll have been as broken as me and I am sorry. I am so sorry."  I felt her turn her body in towards me and her arm reached round onto my shoulder. "Is this really the end of us? " My voice shook as I asked the question that had hung in my mind and decorated my nightmares.

"I don't think so"