His Everything

Chapter 40

(5233 words) 

Bella's pov

Have you ever had this feeling in your chest before? It's like this sinking feeling that seems to be weighing down on your heart and you can't seem to shake it. That's what I felt the moment my eyes landed on him. He had walked inside looking slightly paler than his regular complexion. I was worried thinking that he was maybe dehydrated or he hasn't eaten. But when I looked into his sapphire blue eyes.....they told me a different story. They were clouded with fear and sadness. Something that Ryder never was, he was my rock, my everything.  

I still couldn't get that feeling to go away as I watch my Ryder sleep peacefully on top of me. he had fallen asleep a while ago curled up between my legs. He nestled into my stomach as he stirred in his sleep. his once stressed features now looking relaxed and peaceful. My legs were asleep and my back was slightly aching from the position I have been in for a couple of hours, but I couldn't find it in me to move in fear of waking up Ryder. 

I don't know what caused Ryder to throw up, and I wasn't going to ask. I know he would tell me on his own time but I was concerned for Ryder's health and worried about what had caused him to make himself sick. 

I moved slightly trying to reach for the thermometer only to freeze when I heard a whimper. Ryder's hands grip the sides of my shirt, fisting the material tightly as if it would be ripped away from him. His face was no longer peaceful, his back was tense, eyebrows furrowed in a frown, and his lips were pulled out in a slight pout as he started to rub the side of his face on my clothed stomach. 

I reached out for him, tracing my fingers over his eyebrows and cheek, trying to soothe him the best I could. I started to play with his hair on the back of his neck and rubbed up and down his back. His tense form slowly relaxed back into me as he sighed in content.

Around one in the morning, I started to drift off to sleep when Ryder started mumbling. His back muscles were tight, as he whimpered. I rubbed my hand through his hair trying to calm him when he flinches in his sleep, "no," he whimpered.

"shhh Ryder it's only a dream, your okay," I said rubbing his back. 

He kicked his legs around "no please," I gripped onto his head trying to soothe him the best I could, but his state only worsened. His legs kept kicking out, and his body started moving around. I wrapped my legs around his back positioning my feet behind his two legs to prevent him from hurting himself. His arms started to flail around and he continued to struggle against me.

I tried to grip his arms in my hands, "Ryder it's okay it's me, it's me, Ryder it's only me listen to my voice you're okay," I tried to soothe him, but nothing seemed to be working. 

Ryder shot up his eyes meeting mine making me release my hold on him. He turned around and pressed his back against me as he frantically looked around the room. I placed my hand on his back trying to soothe him, only when my hand touched his bare skin he jerked away from me. A slight pain hit my chest at Ryder's movement. I moved a bit away from him quickly turned on the lamp causing Ryder to flinch and press his back to the headboard. 

Ryder's face was covered in sweat and tears. His hands were clenched in fists as if he was ready to swing at any danger that came at him. He was blinking repeatedly trying to get his eyes used to the blinding light. I gasped when his eyes stared into mine. The rims of his eyes were red and swollen, but his eyes held nothing but fear. 

"Ryder," I spoke softly. 

He continued to stare at me as I slowly walked over to him. When I got an arm's length away, Ryder gripped my hips and lifted me so I was straddling his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my neck. I wrapped my arms around him running my fingers through his hair and rubbing his back. I continued to comfort him but froze when I heard Ryder sniffle.