Frostbite

Missing You

The evening set in and I stared out the window, watching the rain pour. The sound of rain had always comforted me and put me at ease. A year had passed since I'd been in New York last. I had fallen into a routine. It all seemed almost normal now.

Yet, nothing helped the empty ache that held a permanent spot in my chest. I wanted nothing more than to venture out and find the other Avengers in hiding. I loved Stephen and Wong, but I missed my first family. I missed Steve.

I imagined what it would have been like if I had stayed, if I had gone into hiding with him. We would have argued over where to go, he'd want somewhere secluded, and I'd persist that we go somewhere crowded, like London or Paris to blend in. He'd let me win in the end and then I'd have forced him into sight-seeing, fugitive or not. He would have loved it anyway.

I sighed, disbanding the thought. Every time I thought about searching for them, Chase's words rang in my head, squashing any attempt to do so. He was right; if they wanted to find me, they already would have... A single tear trailed down my cheek and I didn't even bother to wipe it away.

A quiet ping caught my attention, and I stretched across the desk to snatch my phone up. It was Chase inviting me over. I debated for a moment, not wanting to put him in a mood as well. In the end I agreed, telling him I'd be there shortly.

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He lived in a quiet neighborhood which was surprising given the volume of the city. I hardly ever saw anyone in the streets around the duplex. It probably had to do with it being located on the outskirts of the city in a wealthier portion of housing here.

I knocked on the door, avoiding the rain by huddling under the awning. He quickly came to the door and ushered me inside.

"I'll be glad when monsoon season is over," he declared, wrinkling his nose at the weather outside. I snickered and wandered into the living room. By now I knew my way around and didn't hesitate to plop onto the couch.

Chase went down the hall and into the kitchen, returning with two cups of tea. I thanked him as I accepted the cup but didn't say much else. Eventually, the silence got under his skin.

"What is it?" he questioned, searching my face for any clue. I shook my head and didn't say a word. I didn't want to have this conversation again. Not after the last time. "Come on, Melanie. Talk to me here. You know I'm the best listener."

I rolled my eyes and tilted my head to the side, deciding if I should. Finally, I sighed and said, "I want to leave Kathmandu. I want to track down Steve."

He didn't seem surprised by my words and pondered over what I said.

"How will you find him? It's not like you have any lead to follow. Or like he's attempted to show up here."

I bit my lip, unsure if I should mention the cell number. He noticed my hesitation and gently placed a hand on my forearm.

"Hey, if that's really what you want then maybe I could help. And if the worst case happens, then you come back," he shrugged, the corners of his lips curving into a smile. His response was the dead opposite of what I thought it would be.

"Last time I suggested it you had an entirely different attitude. Why?"

"I don't want to hurt you, but honestly, I should just say it," he seemed to be carefully choosing his words, "I'm almost sure you'll come back after you leave. He has had every opportunity to try and find you, yet he hasn't. Neither have the others. It's been how long now? How do you even know he even loves you anymore?"

Of course, I had thought of that, but how would I know if I didn't try? Even if his love had faded, mine hadn't. Chase opened his mouth to add something else, but I snapped at him, jumping off the couch.

"Just stop. Stop acting like you know him. You don't. I'm the one who walked away. I'm the one who demanded space. Don't try and make him seem like something he isn't. I couldn't blame him if he did move on. Why do you try and villainize him?"

He shot up from the couch, a steely look in his eyes. "Did you ever think I just care for you too much to see you run off and be hurt? Or that maybe I don't even want you to run off to someone else?"

I froze, unbelieving of what he was implying. No. I misheard him surely. My thoughts become muddled, and I shook my head, trying to clear it out. He mistook the motion and continued.

"Is that so hard to believe? I want you to be happy, but what if doing this does the opposite? You were miserable for months, whether by your own hand or not. I meant it; I'll help in any way I can, but just be sure this is worth it. That it's really what you want. Who you want."

I couldn't deal with this. Not now. Where had this come from? Was I that blind? Without a word, I darted for the door, deciding to flee instead of facing him. He called after me, but I didn't look back. The rain was still pouring as I ran out the door and down the short stairs to the sidewalk.

Chase caught up with me and grabbed my hand, pulling me back. "Just wait, okay? Don't tell me this is one sided. Don't tell me that you couldn't be just as happy with me," he murmured. I never had thought of him that way. Never even considered the possibility this entire time. So how could I know that?

He leaned down slowly, almost hesitantly, pressing his lips to mine. The act caught me by surprise, and I didn't try to break away. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. We were both drenched at this point, but it didn't faze him in the slightest. The kiss deepened and for a moment I almost started to kiss him back. Realizing what I was doing, I pulled away.

"I can't..." I croaked, panic pushing me into motion. His face dropped, and I turned on my heel, rushing down the street. This time he didn't follow, and I opened a portal, running through and back into my room.

My mind raced as I processed what had just happened. I gasped as the guilt began weaving its way through me. I had let it happen. Deep down I knew there wasn't a real reason to feel so horrible over the situation, Steve and I weren't together anymore. Maybe, I just truly believed I'd never love anyone the way I did him.

My relationship with Chase would surely be strained now. He wouldn't want to see me again after I had run from him. Apparently that what was what I was good at, walking away. But there had been nothing there, no spark, no passion. I didn't feel that way about him. My heart belonged to someone else.

Steve is coming back eventually, I swear!😬 I was thinking of doing one upcoming chapter from his POV, but didn't want to waste the time if no one was interested. Let me know if it's something you'd like to see! 🤷🏻‍♀️