The Write Match // Bill Hader

Twenty-One

We made it back to my apartment after the show was over and I felt calm the entire way home. He didn't talk much while we walked, but he would hum something every now and then. We walk into my apartment building now, I'm exhausted.

"Are you okay, Meredith?" He asks as we walk up the stairs and I nod, holding on to the handrail.

"I'm just sleepy." I tell him. For the past two weeks work has been wonderful, I've been wonderful, and we've been wonderful. I have no reason to be sad right now, but I am because I know what tomorrow is.

"Let's go to bed." He walks in front of me and holds his hand out, I take it, walking down the hallway with him. We make it to my door and he pulls his key out, unlocking it, holding it open for me, then closing it once we're both in. He takes both of our coats and hangs them up, looking to me as I look up at him.

I go to my bedroom, stripping from my shirt and pants, pulling on one of his, letting it hang over me. I brush my hair and catch him watching me as I turn to my bed.

"What?" I ask with a smile.

"I don't know, you're just... pretty." He nods to me.

"Why do you say that?" I ask, throwing myself into the warm blankets. He lays beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.

"You're beautiful, Meredith." He tells me and I look up to him.

"You know I don't like to hear that." I tell him, and he nods his head.

"I know, but I thought I could say stuff now without you getting mad." He says and I nod.

"I understand. I guess it's just weird to hear it from someone after not hearing it for so long." I mumble.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes and I shake my head.

"Don't apologize... there's no need to apologize for the way you feel." I say without thinking. "I'm tired, we should go to bed." I tell him.

"What do you mean, Elliot?" He asks.

"You don't always have to say what's on your mind or how you feel, I'd prefer that people don't, but if it happens, don't apologize for it." I tell him, knowing I'm hiding from my feelings as we speak.

"Can I tell you something else?" He asks and I know whatever I say will not matter.

"Sure." I mumble.

"I've been low for so long. I feel horrible before every show and I just think of every possible thing that could go wrong. But now, something has changed. I don't know if it's this season, or the cast, or you, but everything has just changed for the better." He tells
me and I smile.

"You do so well, what do you mean?" I ask, yawning.

"It's easy to fake things." He tells me and his words hit me in the chest, my eyes feel heavier than before.

"I think that's what I'm doing right now." I mumble.

"What?" He asks, but I'm too tired to answer. I fall asleep, his arms wrapped around me.

I wake up a couple hours later and Bill is still sleeping sound, the snow is slowly falling outside. I watch his chest move up and down with each breath and I don't want him to be here, but I need him to be here today, today is the day I dread most. I know I need to call his mom in a few hours, just to apologize for the fifth year in a row.

I don't think about it much, because I try not to think about him, but today is one of the few days I have to come face to face with it. I leave the warmth of my bed, walking into my cold living room, standing in silence as I look at the walls around me, still seeing him in the smallest things. I thought that moving to a brand new apartment would be perfect, because there wouldn't be any trace of him here.