The Write Match // Bill Hader

Twenty-Eight

I spend the rest of the day alone. John called, he invited me out, but I declined. I'm finally taking a day for myself, remembering why I liked doing this so much, and now here we are, the last rehearsal before the season finale. I feel nervous, I feel anxious waiting for Bill to walk through the doors.

"I can see you shaking from the other side of the room. Take a deep breath, Meredith, everything is going to be okay." He laughs at me.

"Why am I freaking out? I feel like I'm about to talk to the President." I breathe out and I see Bill walk through the open doors.

"Are you okay, Meredith? You look like you're about to throw up." Bill says and John turns away, going back to this scripts. I look at him and he motions for me to go, and I walk to Bill.

"I was wondering if we could maybe talk after rehersal is over tonight." I say quietly and he smiles.

"Is this a talk that we need to have at my apartment or do we need to have it here?" He asks and I know he's asking depending on what my decision is.

"It's a talk we can have at your apartment, if you want me there." I tell him and he nods.

"You know my door is always open for you, Meredith." He says and I roll my eyes, taking my seat next to John.

Bill stands and I watch as he walks past me, and towards the door, following the rest of the cast. He stops in the doorway of the dressing room and looks back. "You're staying to watch rehearsal tonight?" He asks and I nod.

"I thought that we would go to your apartment together, if that's okay." I say.

"Of course, Elliot." He smiles and walks out the door and I follow. We watch the final rehearsal and it's incredible. Watching Bill will never not be entertaining to me, knowing he gives his all everytime he preforms.

After rehearsal is over, Bill comes off the stage with such a happy energy, his smile bright, which makes me feel so much more at ease through all of this. He gets all of his things together, saying his goodnights to everyone, and then we're on our way to his apartment.

The walk to his apartment is so relaxing and it's comfortable. He unlocks his front door and we walk in. He put his keys down on the counter and I put my bag down.

"Can I talk first?" I blurt out without even thinking and he looks back to me.

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to get something to eat or drink, but I guess we're just getting right into it." He says and I shrug.

"Whatever is fine. I just thought that-" I start, but he cuts me off.

"We'll talk, just stop being so nervous. It's me, it's us, you've never been nervous around me, Meredith." He tells me and he's right, I've never been nervous around him, but this is different.

"I wasn't nervous before because I didn't have anything to lose, but things have changed." I tell him and he sits down, motioning for me to take a seat next to him. I sit down, pulling my legs closer to my body. "I've never really been someone who talks about their feelings, and up until a couple months ago, I didn't really have any and when I did, I would just push them away but a lot has changed. I know we've both noticed that and seen it, but I didn't want to notice the changes in me at first. I started having fun and letting go and started being myself and I knew it was because of you, and it scared me. I knew I had feelings for you months ago, I have never felt more alive than when I'm with you and I think I fell in love with you when you sat down and listened to me talk that morning, that morning when you sat in the living room with me, when you showed me just how much you cared." I haven't looked at him, I stare at the rug on his floor, noticing every color to avoid eye contact.