𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒆𝒊𝒅 𝑶𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔

Be With Her

T.W ~ Mentions of Blood, Suicide and Guns, please don't read if any of these make you uncomfortable.

The cold, harsh wind nipped at Spencer's nose, leaving it rose tinted and stinging. His body shook slowly as chills and sobs wracked through him, merciless crystalline rivers flowing down his ghostly pale skin.

His hands trembled violently as they clutched the small gun, grip agonisingly tight, like a silent prayer in his hold. Desperate pleads for her to return, reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere, embrace him tightly, let him feel the life saving kiss he so needed.

But she wasn't there anymore, for she now walked amongst angels. But the heavens above would forever pale in the sheer ethereality of her. For she was a goddess in the eyes of the love struck boy, someone with such unfathomable grace and divinity that it left Spencer breathless.

She had been the one thing keeping Spencer afloat, wiped away the painful tears that threatened to drown him with their cruel relentlessness. But now that she was gone, he could feel himself slipping, losing his already weak grip on reality, leaving him dangerously close to delirium.

He exhaled shakily, diverting his once golden gaze towards the skies. Endless twilights painted across the sky, magnificent stars shining across the raven canvas. Constellations with stories hidden deep within, years and years away shone the brightest of lights that no one would ever have the pleasure of seeing.

He closed his eyes, feeling as the wind blew his hair across his head with a newfound ferocity. The rich navy fabric of his tie dancing to the unheard symphony of the wind, a song so beautiful that no one deserved to experience.

That's what Spencer imagined death to be like, there was no heaven, no prancing amongst the clouds as the skies forever shone perfect hues. Rather, it was an oblivion. A state of the utmost consciousness and obliviousness all at once, a place where you could finally see the breeze as it brushed through the cities, hear the melodies with which the oceans twirled to.

"Beautiful, isn't it" a soft voice spoke, one so painfully recognisable. One he knew he shouldn't be hearing, but no matter the circumstances would forever bring solace to his aching soul.

"You shouldn't be here" his voice cracked as he felt gentle rivers drip down his face. He daren't open his eyes, she shouldn't be here, he had already watched her leave once.

"But you should be" her voice like the sweetest honey to his ears, his gaze now bore into the flashing lights of the street, cars squeaking in the far distance. He turned towards her, eyes of e/c looking straight through him with the most unbearably pure affection. It hurt to see her with such unwavering love within the once bright, excited orbs of her eyes. For in his mind he could have saved her, ran just that little bit faster. It should have been him that screamed in agony, his body that should have been weeping the unmerciful tears of crimson.

For she had once been the most precious of roses, petals of angelic white and soothing to the eyes. But as the bullet tore through her chest, the pearlescent flower slowly turned the shade of deep scarlet, it's bloom now like sharp rubies that wept from its stem.

"I-I can't do it without you y/n" he lifted the gun in his hands, his trembling fingers threatening him as they moved dangerously close to the trigger. He blinked slowly, allowing the tears that had been trapped upon his eyelashes to flow freely down his face.

"Why did it have to be you y/n? It should have been me, it's all my fault" his voice cracked as he gazed at y/n. Her hair sitting perfectly upon her shoulders, unaffected by the brutal lashings the wind blew at them.

"It's not your fault and it doesn't matter when we meet again, just know, that I will love you forever" her hand brushed airily over Spencer's trembling fingers, the touch ghostly and ice cold, sending shivers through his body.

He closed his eyes tightly, allowing the forced twilights to calm his whirling mind. He didn't need to open them again to know she was gone, he could feel the torturous emptiness within his soul, it stabbing deep into his heart and mind as he felt all hope drain him. Even before now, he was a shell of the man he once was.

The man who rambled incessant facts in shrill, excited tones. Who performed magic to kids just to see the gleeful smiled upon their cheery, blush tinted faces. Because without her it was if everything was casted in a permanent shadow, forever darkened, seeping with poison, destined to bring pain to his body and tears to his eyes.

So as the gunshot rang through the air, the piercing bang as it ricocheted through the desolate city.

He didn't care that he would no longer be able to do those things, feel the sun as it warmed his skin, hear the warm laughs of his family and friends.

Because now, he would finally get to be with her.

And that's all that mattered.