I wanted to say
I'm getting
better now
sort of
I went to a doctor
she gave me
medicine
I don't know
if it's helping or not
I have
a therapist
and I am trying
to open up
about my feelings
the hardships at home
But...
I cut
myself
I'm sorry
I don't want
you all
to be mad.
the feeling
it felt like joy
at first
but then
I felt
guilty
what if
I had
done more?
I've gotten messages
from others
some kind ones
someone said
tell
your grandparents
about
what goes on
I can't
grandpas
dead
grandmas
live
in another
country
then there's other messages
there's those people
who don't believe
that I want
to die.
I'm not
going
to say
anything bad
so
if you don't believe me
that's fine
but I do
want to die
and I know
that sounds horrible
then
there's the people
who do want me
to die.
I got a message
saying
"kill yourself and
no one will care."
maybe
it's true.
I'm scared
not for me
but for my family
well- my online one
I called
my aunt
left
a voicemail
she cares
a bit
my friend
she did
what I want to do
kill
herself
crying
was involved
in my life
for a long time
my therapist
has showed me
what I
can cause
if I
do it
I don't
want to cause
anything
bad
for all
of you.
I don't
want to be
the reason
for your
depression
anxiety
death
I'm really sorry
for all of this
I'm getting better
I think
but at the same time
I couldn't want
to die
more.
