pain
is something
I deal with
every
single day
pain
is the feeling
of bruises
and
blood
and
hits
to the face
pain
is the feeling
of hearing
I'm worthless
and
I'm not loved
because
it's true
pain
is the realization
that
the people you love
are gone
forever
pain
are the messages
that tell me
to die
that tell me
I'm
nothing
in this world
pain
is my heart
being
torn
in half
do I stay
or do I leave?
pain
is the idea
of having
to cope
with the downfalls
of life
every
single
day
pain
is being stuck
in a situation
you can't
tell anyone
about
because if you do
people you love
will die
but the worst
type of
pain
is knowing
that I
am the reason
others
are
hurting
I'm so so so so sorry. the thought that I am the reason people are scared to go to sleep- the guilt is unbearable.
I want to smack myself so hard. I'm stupid and selfish. I'm getting so many love messages and I want to ignore them. online life is so much better than real life. I wish I could leave my real life and all I think is that suicide's the only way.
I'm so sorry.
I'm here for now. how much longer, I don't know.
but I'm scared- and for the people that know, please don't say anything- not for me, but for people I love. I'm scared.
I really do love you all. if I could leave my irl life, I would. but I can't. the only way is to do the deed.
I'm fighting, even though it's hard.
ilyasm,
Lil
