Before and Now (Chaennie)

Chapter 27

My blood flow stopped. I could swear I had stopped breathing too. My mother kept calling my name. It was called with certainty as if she knew exactly where I was. That's when it came back in my head.

Of course, she knew. She had read the diaries.

My head turned to Rosé who was already staring at me anxiously.

What was I supposed to do now? My life was torn into two parts. And yet, these two parts had collided leaving me to pick up the pieces. I was the only one responsible for my life. Now that I knew the only question that remained was: what was I wanting?

My gaze got back at Rosé. I gulped. I squeezed her hand one last time and slowly got up. Rosé being the gentlewoman that she was helped me.

No one said anything as I walked toward the door. However, I didn't let go of Rosé's hand. I never wanted to let go of this part of me ever again.

My eyes fell on the ground where my parents seemed like inoffensive creatures. At this height, it seemed as if everything was possible. Even the presence of the girls by my side gave me the strength to hold on and became true to who I was.

"Jennie, sweetie. Please, come down. Let's talk." my mom asked. There was a spread of a smile on her face. There was sympathy, care and love. Something had changed for them too. I just didn't know it what it was. I just hoped whatever it was it helped them see with better clarity the situation and maybe understand what I felt and why things were as they were. I nodded even if I didn't know if they could see well at that distance. No one opposed the ideas. Unexpectedly.

Joy got down first. Her protective side still at full capacity. She may not show it but the situation was clearly affecting her. I could see it in her eyes. Rosé followed me closely, always making sure everything was alright for me and as I thought I couldn't fall in lobe with her even more I did.

I didn't know what I did in my past life to deserve such love but now, selfishly, I never wanted to let go and thanked whoever was making this universe work for bringing this girl in my life. Even if, right now, everything seemed against us.

Once my feet touched the ground, I close the gap toward my parents who hadn't moved. And I don't know if it was out of respect or just awkwardness. They were holding onto each other just like Rosé and I did. It sent a ping to my heart. How could they not see that our love as the same as them? Just because Rosé and I had similar physiology didn't mean that it shouldn't have been.

I didn't look at them again and my father still had a bit resentment in his eyes but my mom looked at me differently than she had been these past few days. It was clear that she had been crying. Whatever happened between here and the hospital must have been significant enough to input that changed behavior.

I stopped a few meters away, still holding onto Rosé's hand. I could feel her pulse beating in her hand. The four girl stood next to us. Lisa and Nayeon next to me and Irene and Joy next to Rosé. It almost felt like a confrontation just like in movies. I didn't want to fight but if I had to I was definitely going to. I wouldn't be passive anymore.

"Sweetie..." my mom started "I..." she put her hand over her mouth and shook her head. She was holding her tears. It was so different from the person I had been living with these past days. She seemed to vulnerable and my heart sunk. My dad took her in his arms. He met briefly my eyes and I could see the conflict that was happening inside of me. His gaze fell on Rosé, his jaw clenched for a moment before he took a deep breath and looked back to my mom who wiped her tears and faced us again.

"Jennie... I... I'm so sorry." she cried.

My heart stopped as it was the last thing I was expecting her to say.

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Is that a bad sorry or a good sorry ? 🤔

WHAT THE HECK UNNIE - Church Girl Rosé 2021 😂