Rotting World, Blossoming Love I ONC 2021

Chapter 5

"I wouldn't say that. I don't know what to think. You seem like such a nice guy. So, the fact that you can take lives so easily is difficult for me to reconcile with how great you have been towards me," I say, trying to be as honest as possible.

"I understand, but you have to know I didn't enjoy doing it. Killing anyone takes away a part of your soul, and no matter what they say, you never get that part back.

"However, knowing that by killing those people I protected my family, my parents, is enough for me to go on living. Those people needed to die, and it is something I've made peace with a long time ago, and I hope you can do the same," he says.

I am stunned into silence. Though I know that soldiers are fighting for our safety, I am not sure I can spend time with a guy who can claim a life so easily. Even if his reasons were justified, what does that say about him, about who he is?

"Listen, I know this is a lot to take in but can you honestly tell me that you wouldn't kill to defend the ones you love?" He asks.

"I don't know. I genuinely don't know. It's something I believed I would never be able to do, no matter what. I am even against the death penalty," I say.

"Marissa, does this mean you don't want to be friends with me?" Nathan asks.

The seriousness and sadness in his voice are like sharp daggers to my heart, and I find it difficult to breathe.

"No, that's not what I am saying. I...I just need time to process this.

"It's difficult to change the image you have about someone, and everything I know about you seems so contradicting. I just need time to understand everything," I say.

"I think time might be the one thing that we don't really have. It has become a luxury. I don't want to pressure you into suffering the presence of someone who has done things that are against your values and beliefs," Nathan says as he gets up to go away.

"Wait, don't go," I say, desperation slipping through.

"Listen, I disapprove of what you did in the past, but I won't hold it against you. I wouldn't want people to hold my past against me though it might not be as dark," I say.

"So where does that leave us?" Nathan asks.

"I am not saying I am completely okay with what you've told me since that would be lying. However, you've been nothing but kind to me, and I want you as my friend," I say.

"Really?" Nathan asks, a rainbow of emotions sparkling in his eyes.

"Yes, I am not about to chase away the only person who has shown some understanding for me just because I can't understand the choices he made in the past," I say.

"It's your fault Callen is hurt!" Jared's voice interrupts our conversation.

It sounds like Jared is nearby, but I can't tell for sure since he is yelling at someone. He seems furious.

"You said we wouldn't go anywhere near their migration patterns. Now Donovan tells me you knew that we were going in the middle of the zombie territory," Jared screamed.

"The fact that Callen is hurt is his own fault. We should always be prepared for a zombie attack whether it's their territory or not," I hear Jason say coldly.

He was never really good with sympathy, but this is even worse than usual. Instead of calming Jared, he seems to be making the situation worse. I want to help, but I am stunned in place by Jared's accusation.

Is it possible that Jason had purposefully risked our lives just to get another sharpshooter? He has been practical from the very start, seemingly void of any emotions. However, I was sure he would never risk us for anything or anyone. Could I have been wrong?

Both Nathan and I move quickly towards the noise, although I am guessing for different reasons.

While he might have enough strength and motivation to separate them in case of a physical conflict, I hope to reason with them. After all, we are all adults, and there must be a reasonable explanation for everything.

"What's going on?" I ask though it's pretty clear by this point.

"Stay out of this, Professor. It's high time people learned the truth about Jason and what he is ready to do to get his way!" Jared yells.

"Jason has been protecting us all this time. Why would he risk our lives by placing us on the zombies' path?" I ask.

"Because he wanted this guy and didn't care how he got him? After all, one sniper is worth more to him than a bunch of us regular people if he wants to keep himself and his wife alive," Jared says.

It doesn't sound possible that anyone would sacrifice other people to improve their chances of survival. On the other hand, that might just be my naive way of seeing the world.

"So what if I did? We need more firepower!" Jason says.

Of course, that's the worst thing he could have said since the moment the words are out Jared lunges towards him, ready to murder the person who saved his life. It's as if he has forgotten who taught him how to fight, who defended him from the zombie hordes.

"Stop it! You are accomplishing nothing by beating each other to a pulp. There is nothing you can do to change the past. All you can do is focus on the present." Nathan says while trying to separate the two enraged men.

"It's easy for you to say that when you haven't just watched your friend writhe in pain!" Jared yells.

"He will be fine. He just needs to stay off his feet for a while. Still, he has lost a lot of blood, so he should drink a lot of fluids. If you want to help your friend, you should go get him some liquids instead of arguing about the past," I say, although I am tempted to fight with Jason as well.

After all, he has risked all our lives without even giving us a choice. He is playing God with our lives, and I can't help but feel betrayed. Still, attacking him about it won't solve anything. It will just create more issues.

"Fine, I'll go take care of my friend but once he is feeling better, we are out of here. We are better off alone. At least we know we can trust each other," Jared says, storming off.

"Is that true? Did you risk your own people to get to me, to gain an advantage over the zombies?" Nathan asks with a fire burning in his eyes.

"You are a soldier. You know how it is. Sometimes you need to sacrifice the lives of a few to save the many," Jason says.

"No, I don't know how it is to betray your own people. We had a rule never to leave a man behind, and I've always followed that rule. I didn't do it because I have to but because the men I served with were like a family to me. I WANTED to protect them," Nathan says, raising his voice.

I am unsure what I should do. Another fight breaking out wouldn't be good for any of us. However, I also don't want to be in the middle of a conflict. After all, what can I do in a situation like this one? Talk them to death?

"Don't even think about breaking our deal. If you do, I'll..." Jason starts saying.

"I won't break the deal. Unlike you, I am a man of my word but if you repeat that stunt again, what I think won't matter as others will raise against you. Remember that," Nathan says, turning around and leaving.

I think about my options and decide to follow after him. No matter what he did in the past, Nathan has been there for me when I needed him, and it's time for me to return the favor.