Making it together

Chapter 22

Chapter 22 Taylor POV

 

“Taylor! Let me in. I am so sorry I didn’t mean it like that. Please!.” Zack has been banging against the door for about an hour now. Why did he have to touch there. I didn’t mean to lose Charlie. When he touched my stomach it brought back too many sad thoughts. I lost my child before I even knew about him. I love Charlie so much, I wish him/her were still here. I want to hold my baby in my arms. I know some may say I'm young but I would love to be a Mum. I would rather it be a bit later, but I would never want my child to die, what ever age I am.

 

I get up off the bed. Zack seems to have calmed down but I suspect he is still outside our room. I walk over to the fire place. On the top of that we have placed our little angel Charlie. I pick it up and sit down by sliding along the wall.

 

I run my hand over the bumps and grooves of the figurine. “I’m so sorry baby. I love you with all my heart, but I was a bad mother and lost you. I lost you before I knew you.” I rub my finger over the engraving along the front. “I wish you were here. I would be so excited. Chris and I would probably be going out shopping everyday so we can buy you clothes, toy and well, everything and anything you may need.” I kiss the baby angels forehead. “Zack would have been so excited. We would change one of our rooms into your nursery. We would paint the room your favorite colour and build a crib and change table for you. I would have my rocking chair in the corner of the room that I would rock you to sleep every time you sleep. We would grab some of our old kids stuff from here and give it to you. We’d teach you how to surf and play footy. Oh and you have to learn how to play guitar.” I keep rambling on talking about what I would do for my baby. I am pulled out of my thoughts by a soft hand wrapping around me.

 

I look up and find Zack next to me. I snuggle into his side. “I’m sorry babe. I know I shouldn't have done that. But I don’t blame you. I was just in awe of how our beautiful baby was in you.”

 

I look into Zack's eyes and press my lips against his firmly. “No it’s my fault I blamed you for something that was so stupid. I need to be less paranoid. I did lose our baby and you have every right to be upset with me. It was all me.”

 

Zack gets up pulling me along too. He grabs my face in his strong hands. “Don’t you ever say that. Okay? I love you and you did nothing wrong. Don’t blame yourself. You did nothing, absolutely nothing wrong. It’s that understood?”

 

I nod my head and look into Zack’s eyes. He Kisses my lips and wraps his arms around me. “Come on lets go to bed. Your parents have put Lily bed.” We walk over to the bed and lay down. Zack pulls me to his bare chest. I lay my head above his heart. I listen to his heart beat as I fall asleep.

 

******

 

The past few days have been quiet. The media have been respecting our wishes and keeping their distance. They still talk and take pictures of us but are not in our face. There have been reports out about the crash and the media have coped some crap about how they caused the crash.

 

We haven’t gone out much. We stay in our hotel room, well suite. We have been watching movies and just relaxing. Lily is getting restless. A three year old locked up in a hotel, equals, not good. So today we plan to take her out to the Zoo as we promised.