12. The Misfortune of Brendon Urie's Assholeness and How It Got Him killed

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„And did you come to stare or wash away the blood?..." - My Chemical Romance, Desert Song

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Brendon Urie, for the lack of better words, was a reckless, bigheaded, prejudiced, idiotic asshole who could not keep his mouth shut to save his life. And that was being said quite fucking literally.

The more time that had passed on their journey, the more Frank had found himself regretting taking the man with him. It was true that in battle he was one of the best fighters, but as Frank had known, he could absolutely not keep his mouth shut. And considering the journey was first and foremost a diplomatic mission, it was problematic.

It had been more than once that they'd been in a meeting, Frank and Ray politely negotiating with the rulers of communities they came across, trying to come to a compromise with them, and Brendon had opened his trouble calling mouth.

One time out of four that had happened, they had to shorten their stay at a kingdom following the queen getting offended by Brendon. Ray and Frank were forced to repeatedly apologize that day. Almost to no avail.

Frank had been furious with Brendon, and considering Pete had to almost restrain the idiot from digging them a deeper hole, he had every right to be. At the end of the day, after both Frank and Ray had apologized a million times, and forced Brendon to do so too, Frank was the one in need of physical restraint.

Despite that, he was still a hair's distance from wanting to kill Brendon on the spot. But really, the guy had almost brought war upon them; and if it were the King handling the situation instead of Frank, he knew Brendon's heart would be long pierced by a bullet by then. He made sure to remind him of that.

It helped to some extent, and Brendon had finally shut his mouth and let Frank and Ray do the talking. That sweet radio silence didn't last though, and it wasn't before long that Frank had found himself seething in front of Brendon, having just barely managed to avoid a situation like the last.

That was the day Frank found out that not all of his men had as much respect for him as he would have liked them to. It was also the first time Frank had raised his gun on his men, and threatened him with a dark, angry voice he hated. It reminded him of his father, and while he'd never say it aloud, not for a living soul to hear, Frank despised it.

Things went mostly smoothly after that, aside from two other incidents where although Brendon had pulled the trigger, he was not the gun. Frank couldn't hold that against him, since he wasn't the only one at fault, but he finally decided to do what was best for all and left Brendon out of the diplomatic meetings.

Unfortunately, when held captive on enemy grounds, it's not as easy to get the man who's most likely to get you killed out of the room. A big factor being that there was no room, but it wasn't much standing besides Brendon's idiocy. And really, Frank wondered if he'd been spewing shit out of his mouth since the moment he was born, or if it was an acquired skill.

Frank had thought he'd seen it all by the time they'd left for the woods, and the relief of not having to save themselves as Brendon dug them their graves was enormous. Sadly though, that all changed when they were ambushed, and the elves that had taken them captive brought them to their camp.

The beginning of it was honestly sort of a blur, for Frank - parts and bits of it he could remember clearly, while others were mere flashes of color and shots of sound. There were a lot of things from that night that Frank would have liked to see clear in his mind when looking back on them, and a few which he didn't.

When Brendon had opened his mouth, and let his tongue instead of brain do the talking, he knew they were screwed. It couldn't have become any more obvious as Brendon had hurled an insult after a curse at the very people who were his enemies. And from then to the moment the loud bang of a fired gun sounded, was a time Frank didn't want to be able to remember well.

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