We're Burning (Frerard)

9. Ray Toro: The Knight in Shining Armor

„'Cause when a guy does something stupid once, well that's because he's a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl." - Dr. Seuss, The Lorex

———

Gerard was fidgeting again.

Fidgeting; it was an old, set in stone habit that he had picked up years ago on his path through life. Anxiety, much like many other things, seemed to accompany him through everything he did. Although, even when he wasn't anxious, the habit was still present, and he'd do it unconsciously.

He didn't necessarily mean to do it, it just happened. He would be siting wherever, lost inside his head and amongst his thoughts, and ten minutes later he would realize he was cracking or pulling on his fingers, bending them in ways that looked like they hurt far too much for him not to notice. Except, he really didn't notice.

When he'd notice, he would sigh tiredly and rub his knuckles over his thighs in some strange attempt at soothing them. He didn't know why he did it, he just did. It wasn't a nice feeling, having his fingers - especially knuckles - sore and pained, so he'd stop.

Only to unconsciously begin again a couple of minutes later.

And now, now he was fidgeting, pulling on his fingers and pushing on his knuckles, cracking them and bending them back and fourth, switching directions each time a sharp pain would show up when he'd stretch his skin too much.

At this point, about five minutes of cracking them, his knuckles were so sore he winced with every new movement of his fingers. But that didn't stop him, although it did slow him down.

He just couldn't stop, not with how he was still sat on Frank's bed, more comfortable than he was in weeks. Not with how Frank's words - words that would be considered betrayal were they heard by someone else, someone who wasn't too afraid of his own shadow to rat out on Frank, who seemed to be the only good person Gerard has met that wasn't an elf - kept bouncing and replaying in his head.

Gerard simply didn't understand; why did Frank say that? He knew it was betrayal, he had to know, he was human, he was the Prince, he was the King's son for fucks sake. And it wasn't only himself that he'd put in danger once he had uttered out those words.

Frank would be punished if those words came out of hiding, and were showed to the king. Gerard on the other hand, he would be shown no mercy, he'll be punished, and it would be bad, much worse than Frank's.

The King will show the elves what happens to traitors, and eventually when Gerard won't be able stand without crumbling in pain unbearable, he would be executed. Either gruesomely or cleanly. Gerard hoped that say he came to be in that situation it would be the latter, he'd much rather just be shot and done with.

A gentle touch on his constantly moving hands brought Gerard out of his head and messy thoughts. He looked up, catching Frank's soft expression as he took Gerard's hands away from each other, his fingers lingering for a second more than needed on his pale skin before retracting back.

"Ray's here," Frank murmured, his index finger pointing at the door.

Gerard nodded, and fiddled with the blanket that still covered his body from the hips and down. He slid his hands into the black shirt Frank had laid on his shoulders and carefully made his way out of the bed, taking extra caution as to not fall.

Someone knocked on the door, and the sound of knuckles hitting wood was swallowed by the sound of the rain hitting the windows. Ray, Gerard realized, must have been the one to knock on the door, it now probably being the second time as Frank used the time of the first to inform Gerard of his arrival.