silverstar, the silmarillion

ix. elrond and elros

She was confused and slightly hurt. Elmarë had seen, and she had noticed, that since her little incident, everything seemed different. Maedhros kept avoiding her, and Maglor seemed aloof, cautious, even, and Elrond and Elros were... gloomier.

What had she done?

She entered the library, which was filled with old books, histories, biographies, and old tales. She entered from section to section, her eyes shifting as she read each title swiftly. Her silver eyes stopped on one particular book, its title, History of Gondolin.

Maybe there was an explanation as to why there was a banner of the House of the Golden Flower in her room, she mused. Carefully picking the book from the shelf, she leafed through the book, chapter to chapter, making a noise of satisfaction when she finally found what she had been searching for.

House of the Golden Flower

Glorfindel was the chief of this house, and their device was that of a rayed sun, that they bare upon their shields. Their vestments and arms are not described, but it is said that their lord wore a mantle with celandines embroidered with golden threads, and his arms were damascened with gold.

When the Fall of Gondolin began, Gothmog led Melko's armies to the North Gate, which was soon knocked down. Meanwhile, the strength of the Golden Flower was in the Great Market, on the east part of the city, and at some moment they decided to march to the fight about the gate.

They marched there by a circuitous way with the idea of surprising the foe upon his left flank, but instead, they were ambushed by a host of led by Balrogs—

She turned the page, tracing the paragraph with her finger, she mumbled quietly, "Further on, while crossing Cristhorn, Glorfindel and his sister Miralyaen was with the men behind the . But the rearguard was attacked by a band of Orcs and a Balrog, and there happened the duel between Glorfindel, Miralyaen, and the Balrog, in which all three fell into the abyss. After recovering the body of Glorfindel and Miralyaen, Tuor let rise a cairn for both."

She remembered the whispers she had heard,

"Miralyaen, it is—"

Miralyaen.

It all clicked. But who was the Daughter of Faith? Were they one person? Who was Maitimo?

...

"Elrond, Elros, where were you?" inquired Elmarë as she stared at her brothers, before wrapping her overdress over their little bodies. Both were shivering, drenched with water from hair to toe, their teeth clattering loudly.

It was Elrond who answered. His lips were blue, and skin paler than usual, "W-we were p-playing b-by the str-stream." Elmarë breathed through her nose loudly, then produced a sigh, "Did you regret it?"

She sighed once more, and beckoned her shivering brothers over, "Come now," said she, hefting Elrond and Elros on each her hip. "Why didn't you ask to play with me? Or perhaps Maglor?"

"But you were busy, Muinthel, and we do not want to be a nuisance," answered Elrond, childlike innocence gleaming in his grey Ñoldorin eyes. But Elros hissed, his eyes filled with startling hostility as he replied, "But Maglor and Maedhros kidnapped us, they are evil people."

Elmarë felt herself wince, "Why do you say so, Elros?" Elros shifted and narrowed his grey eyes at her, "They make nana gone, and killed Gilithdol. Maedhros wanted to hurt you when we were chased by Gil-galad's men."

It was my doing to protect you.

She stayed silent as she brought them to the bathroom, asking the help of a passing servant, and sat her brothers by the counter. While drying their hair, she finally spoke, "But they were forced to—"

"And they were nice to us," Elrond interjected. Elros glared at his brother and sister and demanded, "Nice? They have done nothing but threaten us and shout at us!"

They hadn't noticed, however, the shadow that lingered outside the spacious bathing room. Maglor had heard shouts coming from the room, and his legs had led him to the bathing room where he could hear the Peredhil siblings argue.

Elrond stated, "They fed us, and Maglor sings for us, and helped you when your knee was sprained."

"He lets his brother use Muinthel as a shield! And threatened her!"

Tired and exhausted that her brothers were arguing about matters that were the sons of Fëanor, Elmarë snapped unintentionally, "I asked him to! Rather than you and Elrond!"

"I want to like it here! We do not have a choice about being here and should enjoy it!" exclaimed Elrond.

But Elros was not finished, he pulled away from Elmarë, who was then brushing his hair, shoved his brother, and stared at his two siblings, he demanded, "Do you not love me anymore?"

Everything was quiet, and still, and though Elros felt a tinge of guilt, he was too wrapped in his hatred, in dislike, to take back those words that he had uttered. Elmarë didn't react, she set the comb gently on the counter, but her silver eyes, cracked in hurt and watered slightly before she abruptly stood and slammed the door open.

Elmarë could've screamed how much she loves both her brothers eternally. But she didn't. He didn't know, that she could've still loved them even if they became evil. Nothing can and could break her love for Elrond and Elros.

Passing the threshold, her eyes met Maglor's form, looming by the door, but she merely stared at him and left. Maglor met her gaze, and though startlingly intense, he held her gaze, as her eyes hardened to steel, before she brushed past him.

Elrond felt cold. His siblings were distancing away in this cold fortress. He felt alone as if being left in a forest alone to die. Elrond brought his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly as Elros brushed past, to their room, probably.

His lips trembled, feeling utterly sad and miserable when a figure knelt on the bathroom cold floor. He cast a brief glance down and saw that it was Maglor. He then promptly burst into tears and snuggled into Maglor's chest when the Fëanorion hugged him gently.

...

Elmarë brushed past Maglor, then she ran.

She ran, through the hallways of Amon Ereb, full of sadness, and hurt.

Did Elros think she didn't love him?

Wasn't her love and Elrond's enough?

His question broke her and shook her insides. It felt as though she was hit repeatedly, for she was deeply hurt. How came he question such things? How came he doubt her love and Elrond's?

She was hurt, she cared for him and Elrond since they were a mere babe. She laughed with them, cried with them. She told them great stories of the Ñoldor that she had learned from numerous books, she sang to them.

How came he doubt her love?

Her facade cracked, tears were blurring her vision, but she didn't care, and she was exhausted, kneeling over the ground maybe, she didn't know where she was. Too broken. After all who wouldn't be? Her mother didn't care for her, her father had only bothered to see her twice, and her claimed mother by heart died a month ago.

Elmarë felt cold. Her brothers were separated, distant, and she didn't like it