NIAN FOREVER

Chapter Six

Nikki's POV

*Flashback*

I miss Ian a lot, I really do but Bodhi has been doing so much better now that both of us are separated. I have to take her for another follow up appointment today to make sure everything is going well, it doesn't have to do with the dreams just a regular check up.  

"Bodhi baby come here, we have to go to the doctor today." I say

"No! I want daddy." Bodhi demands

"Baby, you will see daddy in a few hours we have to go now or else we will be late." I reply sounding desperate

"NO! I want to see him NOW." She says, and I see that she is starting to have a tantrum. I kinda wish Ian was here, he would always calm her down when she started to do this. Now I am alone, I am just so drained by working on my business and taking care of Bodhi. I need to get it together I tell myself.

"Bodhi baby come here" I open my hands to welcome her to a hug "Shh calm down, if you come with me right now I will call daddy and ask him to pick you up early ok."

She starts to smile, and soon she calms down. Thank god I think to myself as I pack Bodhi and I's things to leave.

3 hours later

The doctors tell me that Bodhi is doing great, her height and weight looks great so do her reflexes and strength. That was a great relief, at least I am being a great parent I think to myself. My thoughts are interrupted when I feel Bodhi tugging my shirt; she must have woken up from her nap.

"Good morning..." I say quietly even though it clearly isn't the morning.

"You said you will call daddy, now call him." She demands not forgetting the promise I had made her earlier.

"Yes I will, but lets get you something to eat first. Are you hungry?" 

She just shakes her head. "I want you to call daddy!!" This time she sounds very cranky and well lets just say this is so unlike her.

I take out my phone to call Ian, and that is when I see paparazzi pictures of Ian and ... her. 

What is he doing with Nina? Oh my god has he ran back to her? Does he love her now? Did our marriage of six years mean nothing to him? So many questions going inside my mind and I couldn't think straight. I see pictures of him going to her house, them hugging and laughing I don't know what to think. I know we are on break, but we are married.

"Mommy! Did you call him?" Bodhi wakens me from my thoughts.

I didn't want to speak to him nor did I want my daughter to hear this. I know I need to know the truth, but I am to scared for him to say that he loves Nina again. I don't know what will happen if he loves someone else other than me, I just love him too much. I want him to myself and I need to call him, but whatever we talk about I can't have Bodhi hearing this. 

"Yes baby, but he is not answering. He is probably sleeping right now, why don't you play with your new doll maybe he will wake up after." I lie to her, I know I shouldn't but its better for her.

After she leaves I give him a call. We talk as he confirms that they were meeting as friends and Nina has a boyfriend now. However, I just wonder why he didn't ask me to come to the gala with him. I would have went if he had asked me to, nothing has changed between us except that we live apart. At least for me, I think.

My thoughts are driving me crazy, so I decide to eat something. As I am eating I get a call from my brother Nathan.

"Heyyy Nik! How is everything going, and how is my favorite niece. " His enthusiasm makes me miss him so much more.

"Hi Nathan. Everything is going great, glad you called." I say, trying to sound fine

"Nik are you ok? You seem sad, is everything fine with you and Ian?" He replies with concern, catching me red handed.

"Its just..." I don't want to lie anymore, I need to tell someone how I feel. "Ian and I have been separated for a while now for Bodhi's sake. I think he has stopped loving me."

"Wait.... WhAT? Why are you two separated, you guys are literally couple goals. I have never seen you guys have one argument."

"I told you Nathan, for Bodhi. She was having nightmares and so we broke up for a while and she is feeling better now. But me, I don't think so." 

"Well obviously! You haven't had sex in what 3 months, if you want to feel better just have sex with him. I am pretty sure he stills loves you Nik, he is just being distant with you."

For once, I agree with my brat of a brother. I haven't had sex in what seems like ages.

I decide to call Bodhi's babysitter to take care of Bodhi while I go visit Ian. I honestly don't know if he wants to see me, but I sure as hell need to know if the feelings have changed.

At Ian's house

"That was fun!" I say, hoping to stir up a conversation.

He doesn't reply for a while, I don't know what to think. Why is he acting so distant?

"Nikki. I love you a lot, I really do. But if we continue to be on break I don't know how much longer I can do this marriage thing. We really need to talk." He says, I sigh in relief when I hear him say I love you, but also he says he doesn't know how long this marriage will last if I stay like this.

"Ian... how could you say this. We are on break because of our daughter, for her well being. It's not because we stopped loving each other, or anything has changed."

"Well it has changed."

"What do you mean? What has changed? Nothing is different Ian, nothing changed. We still love each other right?" I try not to sound desperate but I do. I need to know the truth.

"I don't know." That's all he says and my heart shatters in a million pieces. The truth hits me, I have just slept with a man that feels no longer has feelings for me. I feel myself getting teary, and I will not give him the satisfaction of making me cry, so I quickly grab my things and leave. 

I regret coming here and meeting him, but at least I know that the Ian I know is not the Ian I just talked to.

(((A/N)Thank you all for reading! Hopefully you liked Nikki's POV, I feel like her side of the story needed to be heard. Hope to update soon. Lots of love!