NIAN FOREVER

Chapter Nine

Ian's POV

I sit on the floor not sure what else to do, after Nikki leaves. That's when I see that I have a few messages, some from Paul, Nikki and the last one catches my eye, it was a message from Nina.  My heart starts beating again, and I feel like a teenager getting a message from their crush. I hate that I can still feel this, and I know it's wrong but I just can't control it. Without any hesitation I open it.

Nina's Text to Ian 

Hi Ian, I am sorry what I said to you when you called earlier. I hope that there is no harsh feelings, I was just having a bad day. - Sent 2:55 pm

I don't know why, but I wasn't really mad at her for saying what she said. Maybe, vengeance and anger aren't really apparent as I get older or maybe I am maturing. 

Hey... np no hard feelings. - Sent 3:15 pm

I just need to talk to her, I miss her so much and I just can't anymore. I can't pretend like I don't care, I can't pretend like I don't miss her. I want to be able to talk to her, without it seeming illegal. Then the other part me thinks, she has a boyfriend and she loves him he makes her happy. I can't be the one to strip her happiness, plus I have had my happiness with Nikki. It's like the angel and the devil inside my brain are fighting each other and I don't know who to listen to. 

I am just going to call her, fuck it. 

"Hey... Nina" I say trying to sound fine, but my voice shakes. It's like when I first called her, a girl like Nina is very intimidating for a guy. She is fun, bubbly, beautiful and talented. 

"Hi Ian, I ... I am sorry for what I said to you that day. It was just that I was having all these thoughts that I didn't really think before I said these things. I hope you know that what I said, I didn't really mean much of it."

I don't care what she is saying; because when I hear her voice it reminds me of the good old days when life wasn't this complicated. I just can't live without Nina anymore, I can't pretend like everything is ok. I need to tell her how I feel, I know we can't be together but she needs to know.

"I love you" I whisper, I want to say it more loudly but I can't bring myself to. I feel guilty for saying this when I am with Nikki and she is with Shaun.

There was a long silence, she didn't say anything for a while.

"What" She says so quietly that I could easily have missed it.

"I... I love you Nina, I know it's wrong for me to feel this and I know we can't be together because things are really complicated right now. But I need to tell you that I never stopped loving you, or caring about you." I say louder then before.

"Ian.... I... why now. Why are you telling me this now? I have finally reached a good place and I have moved on from you. Do you have any idea, how long it took me to move on." She starts quiet and then gets louder.

"I... I am sorry." I whisper and hang up. I want to say" Move on please don't be like me still in love with you after this many years"  Tears start forming in my eyes, and the realization hits. I can never be with the woman I am truly in love with. 

I started packing my bags to go to Nikki's house, I need to smile and be strong for my daughter. Even if I am not in love with Nikki, I still love her and it hasn't been bad living with her. It's the only way I can cope not being with Nina. 

Nina's POV

After he hangs up, I start crying. I am a idiot to even think I can move on and find someone else other than Ian. I have always loved him, and I will always love him. No matter what I feel for Shaun, my feelings for Ian have always been there. But now he is married and has a kid to another woman who isn't me. Even if he got a divorce and I broke up with Shaun, she would always be in his life as the mother of his child. 

So I can't be with him, its too complicated. Although we love each other, we can't be with each other. My thoughts get interrupted when I hear the sound of my phone ringing. Could it be Ian again, so without even thinking I answer.

"Heyy Neens." Jules says, she is my bestfriend and in times like these I really needed her.

"Heyy Jules, I- " My voice starts shaking, and I couldn't keep together.

"Nina what's wrong? Are you ok? Do you want me to come over?" She asks concern filling her voice.

"Ian called, and he says that he loves me." I say, just realizing how absurd this situation is.

"Ok I am coming over." She says and I feel reassured like everything is going to be ok.

((A/N: Sorry for updating after a while. I have spring break this week, so I might update more. Stay tuned!! Vote + Comment what you think of the story. Also tell me if this going to fast. Thanks for reading.