Hidden Play: The Return 《COMPLETE》

Chapter 35

Homesick

Be careful what you wish for, they always used to tell me (though, who 'they' is, I still don't know). For months I wished nothing more than to go home to California. Now that I'm here, I'm finding myself more homesick than ever.

I guess the better question is – am I sick of home (California) or sick of missing my other home?

Don't get me wrong, I'm in no short supply of sunshine, good weather, and five-star restaurants. The people here don't think with their proverbial thumb up their asses, and I'm only a 15-minute drive from the beach.

It can't get much better than this, right?

Then why am I still feeling like this?

My sister assured me this would all subside in a few months, but I've been here for almost four, and I can't seem to shake the ache. Granted, living with my ex-boyfriend isn't helping. At first, it wasn't so bad, but that was only because he was under the (false) illusion that living with him equated to getting back together with him.

Ha, fuck that.

When he realized that it would be a cold day in Hell before that happened, he took a different approach. And by different, I mean parading his 'man of the week' through the house like trophies he won at the country fair in an attempt to make me jealous.

I wish I could tell you that he's since smartened up and dropped the act...instead I'll say – don't hold your breath.

Switching gears, I know you curious readers are anxious for an update on my mystery heart throb. I regret to inform you that since saying our goodbyes a few months ago, we haven't really been in contact. When I left, we agreed to keep our distance and focus on ourselves for a while.

And so, we have.

In theory, it was the right move. It's given me a chance to heal and work through a lot of heavy shit on my end. It's also given me the chance to rebuild a personal foundation of self-love and confidence, two areas that were in some serious need of TLC.

All in all, I'm doing well. I'm no longer dependent on someone else's validation and attention, and I'm back to the 'old' me. I'm cool being on my own.

But I still miss home. I miss my family, my buddies, and playing basketball on the weekends. Hell, I even miss the crappy pizza from the local pizza place. I miss the clean air and the unhurried way of life.

And yea, maybe I miss a certain old 'heart throb,' too. (Just keep that between us though, alright?)

Until next time,

Me

___________

I post the blog and sign out of my laptop. Only minutes pass before Bobby's at my door, a deep scowl etched into his features.

"I'm officially the villain in your blog," he quips.

I shrug. "Hey, if the virtual shoe fits..."

His scowl deepens. "Also, I don't parade my men around the house – and it's not a new one every week!"

I stand, stretching away the night's sleep before swiping up my gym bag from the floor. "Close enough and you absolutely do. Remember Ricky?"

Bobby scoffs under his breath. "Ricky was an exception. That man was gorgeous. Like, we're talking about a true 10 status. You'd parade him around too if he was on your arm."