Obey Me One-Shots

Satan Angst

It's absolutely dreadful outside. It's pouring, and it has been for the past few hours now. It feels like the rain will never stop. The loud pitter patter and the rumbling and shaking of the house every thunder strike was constant. It was getting boring, being stuck inside. You decided to go see what Satan was doing and if he was free. You walk into his room to see him staring out the window. From matching his angle, he didn't look like he was looking at anything in particular—just staring aimlessly into the rainfall. He didn't notice your presence, nor did he notice you calling out to him.
   "Satan?"
   No matter how many times you called to him, he didn't answer. He didn't even move a muscle or acknowledge you. You close the door behind you as you walk towards him at the window. You touch his shoulder and he jumps up, almost hitting you in the process.
    "Ah, MC, sorry. I didn't hear you come in."
    It was very unlike him to be unaware of his surroundings and so off guard like that. There was definitely something off about him. His eyes looked almost lifeless. The sight in and of itself was depressing, and the rainy atmosphere only added to it. You sat down next to him on the window sill bench. He had a hand against his forehead, and it looked like he was almost pulling his hair. He was in an emotional state, not so much wrath though. It just... didn't seem like him.
    "I've never seen you when you're caught off guard like that. It's... almost weird how you didn't notice me entering. Is something on your mind?"
    He didn't reply immediately. He seemed spaced out, almost in a dissociative state. He suddenly snaps back and smiles at you, his shoulders relaxing.
    "Ah, yes. I'm alright. Nothing major. I just... I don't particularly like the rain."
    "You don't?"
    There was a slightly awkward moment of silence between you two. Tension suddenly increased.
    "It's loud. I'm not really a fan of loud noises. Or if the bright light of the thunder. It reminds me of when I first became my own person. The loud fighting of the war and how bright the Celestial Realm is... that's what it reminds me of."
    "That's not 'nothing major,' Satan, it's clearly bothering you. Do you... wanna talk about it?"
    He looked at you with a sort of displeased glare almost, then his expression softened and he sighed.
    "I don't like being vulnerable in front of you."
    He did also have this sort of protective and chivalrous way, and he was being practically the opposite. There was no doubt he was almost uncomfortable that he was feeling so upset to begin with. He seemed he was about to be pushed over the breaking point.
    "Satan, it's not being vulnerable, it's—"
    You were quickly cut off. He grabs your hand into his as he pulls his hair harder from his forehead grip.
    "Do you see me as Lucifer?"
    He was shaking a little, and would not make eye contact. His voice was soft before, and yet now it's far from it. It was quiet, hushed, yet almost like a cry out of pain. He was squeezing your hand pretty hard.
    "Not in the slightest. You're nothing like him. Even when I first met you guys, I never really saw Lucifer in you at all."
    His breathing was getting heavy.
    "What is unique about me? What is something I have nobody else does?"
    You took a moment, and you places your free hand overtop the one he was holding you with.
    "You're strong minded, you're relentless and self determined. You don't let anyone mess with you and you take a stand for what you think is right."
    He chuckled a little. It was hardly visible, but you could tell a tear fell down his face.
    "You could say the same damn thing about every other one of my brothers. Something unique, MC, something only I got, and not my wrath. Think harder..."
    "You're very passionate about the things you love and the people you ca—"
    His little chuckling turned into more so of heavy breathing. His voice grew shaky, even more than it was before.
    "I'm not unique at all. I'm the same as everyone else. I don't have a single unique trait that separates me from them, from him specifically."
    More tears fell down his face and he managed to squeeze your hand harder than he did before. He was shaking more and more by the minute, and he soon just instinctively switched to his demon form from being so upset.
    "MC, am I really this boring? The only things I can think of... are cats and books, and those are simply interests, no....not traits. Strong willed.... observant.... good memory.... family orientated.... people's person.... easily agitated.... hot headed.... perfectionist... it's all just.... traits Lucifer has! Am I even.... able to be my own person? Can.... can I even call myself Satan? Am I anything but Lucifer number 2?!"
    He let go of your hand and rather pulled himself into your embrace. He was shaking so bad, he could barely get out a full sentence at once. An endless stream of tears were falling from his face. It was similar to the pattern of the rain fall outside. The rain only increased in loudness, just like Satan's sobbing. The bright streak of light of the thunder just flared, and the booming sound of the thunder followed behind.
    "I hate myself, MC. How can I be my own per.... my own person if..."
    He was getting too choked up to speak at this point.
    "if I can't.... I can't..."
    He soon gave up, and just completely collapsed in your arms.
    "I've thought about it, and I think you do have your own uniqueness about you, Satan. Having similar traits doesn't make you not your own person. You have your own way of doing things, and you also do what you think is best. You are very good at analyzing any situation—more so than me or any of your brothers could ever do—and you've been really helpful at times like that where we're all stuck and struggling. You're caring and you know how to comfort people. Well, you just kinda have a comforting aura about you. You have your own unique interests and quirks about you, you just won't acknowledge them. I know that you think everything is from Lucifer, though I think you've taken everything you've gathered and gave them it's own Satan-twist."
    You were holding him still, stroking his back. His crying died down a bit as he was listening to you, though he was still shaking badly.
    "Satan, I know you've been compared to Lucifer your whole life and you feel you're living in his shadow, but you really aren't. None of your brothers have their own unique thing either if you think about it. Asmo and Levi are both into fashion and outfits, just in a different way. Beel and Mammon are both very family orientated, they just express it a different way. Obviously there's more, but if you take the time to think and compare their interests and traits, you'll see each of them have a lot in common with each other as well as Lucifer. You don't need to keep dwelling on the fact you're born of Lucifer, because even so you're completely different."
    You gently kissed the top of his head.
    After a while—maybe 30 to 45 minutes—the rain died down, and likewise, Satan did, too. He soon relaxed back to his normal form.
    "Thank you, MC."
    Even after he calmed down, he stayed in your embrace for a long while after. Just a comfortable silence as you gently stroked his back, the only sound between us your breathing and the dying of the rain.

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