The rich girl, and the shy boy X Jackson Passaglia

11

Chapter 11: too proud to say sorry

i wake up taking deep breaths and sitting up straight. why did i dream of that? that's the second worst of my life why would i be dreaming of that. i rub my eyes and look around my room. OK so that's my current room, not my old room. that's a good thing. 

i get up and decide to change for school today. i put on a green and white dress with my high top green converse. i tie my hair in a ponytail and then go downstairs. 

i sit down at my usual spot on the dinning table and then i start eating. Clark passes by and looks at me, he continues walking but then does a double turn and then walks back towards me. i chew my toast while he looks at me confused.

"a-are you eating?" he asks and i nod my mouth too full to speak. 

"are you feeling okay?" he asks now and i nod again, "are you sure, you're feeling alright? Gladys! Gladys can you come here for a second please!" he yells and Gladys runs in the dinning room she stops abruptly when she sees me chewing the toast. 

"are you- is she eating?" she asks and then i swallow. 

"can't someone eat in peace? yes, i am eating. any other questions?" i stand up annoyed. i grab the toast with me and then go in the kitchen, i open the drawer on the side and take out the orange container that contains my eating pills. they help me not barf everything.

i grab them and shove them in my bag, i then get outside and call for Clark. we get in the car where i lay down in the back like i always do and then i finish my toast and swallow my pill while Clark starts driving in silence.

"so ... anything interesting ... happened?" Clark asks not knowing what words to say exactly. 

"i had a really weird dream." i state looking at the car's ceiling. 

"what kind of 'weird dream'?" he asks now curious.

"well it was more of a flashback."

"flashback of what?"

"the worst day of my life, well more like the second." i say sighing and then turn my head to the side to see him focused on the road. 

"i'm guessing it's the one at school back in New York?" 

"yeah. i don't know what triggered it- wait!" i say realizing something from my flashback last night. 

"you told me to reverse it! that's what my dream did. it reversed it." i say sitting up straight now full of energy.

"i'm confused now." he says. 

"yesterday Jackson said that someone like me would never understand like him. and then you said to reverse it, but i didn't understand but then the dream kind of explained it all." 

"how?"

"that day, i was coming back from all the operations and pills, and all that therapy and everything, and everyone was thinking that i was crazy, which in some ways i know i was i mean i did lash out, but whatever. i said something in the bathroom that day, 'someone like them could never understand someone like me'."

"so...?" he asks even more confused.

"long story short, Jackson would never understand someone like me. i mean he doesn't know what it feels like when everyone has expectations of you that you know you can't meet. he doesn't know what it feels like when your like me." i say and notice we arrive at the school. 

"i'm not supposed to be ashamed of who i am. people around me always made me think that i should but i shouldn't." i say finally understanding everything.