Love and ashes

Chapter 1: She wanted to live and he wanted to die,

The sun was already up in the city of London and the young teen girl, Skylar, hadn't slept at all. It was the day she had been dreading for ages now, her last goodbye to her dear Mother .

Skylars mother died about 4 weeks ago and that meant the day of her funeral finally came around. The goodbye to her mother was the worst experience she will ever have to do in her lifetime, well that was the mindset she was grievously keeping. But she just had to keep reminding herself it was a better mindset than her own father had. She kept replaying that in her swamped head.

"Come on Skyler, you need to get this perfect!" she kept saying over and over to herself. If she doesn't get this speech right, she will beat herself up about it probably for the rest of her life.

She sat at her small, wooden desk with her golden blonde hair in her hands. Her blazing blue eyes did not leave the paper- not even once. You could hear her brain ticking violently as her hand became sweaty from the friction of the pen. You could also see the pain in her sorrowful eyes whilst she was writing. She slightly rubbed her hands against her soft skin and just gave out a massive sigh.

"Skyler, are you nearly done? We are going to be late for Christ sake, you were the one who said you didn't want to be late now your going to make us late, that obviously says a lot about you doesn't it" the blondes dad said starting to get angry. Skyler took a deep breath before replying.

"This will have to do" she mumbled under her breathe to herself. The dad swung back open Skylers door quickly and loudly banged the skirting board and shouted at her,

"What did you say child?" He raised his voice.

"Nothing, I didn't say nothing dad."

He walked out his daughters room and slammed the door shut behind him. She stood up. Feet lightly perched on the ground, she grabbed her jacket and swinged it round onto the back of her shoulders and picked up her speech. Another deep breathe was taken by this stressed out blonde. She opened her bedroom door and made her way down her stairs, every step still made a creaking noise, just like when she was a child. Everyday she wished she could go back to the same old happy childhood she had with her loving mother.

The stairs came to an end. The girl walked out the front door in her Lacy black floral dress which hung just above her knee. The limo pulled up outside, her eyes started to fill with water. You could just see she felt so lonely and desolate. She truly didn't have anyone except her best friend anymore, Ski was also not so close with her mums side and neither her dads, so she only had her mother and her best friend Layla. But now her mother has gone, she is only left with Layla.

Her dad just stood there waiting for her to get in, there was no smile.No emotion towards his daughter at all, nothing but, "you took your time Skyler, now come on get in." She gave him a painful smile and sat herself down in the limo. He got in and sat himself next to this grieving girl and shut the door behind him and just stared out of the blacked out windows the whole way to the service.

Not a word was spoken until they finally got to the service.

Skyler realised that they got to there destination and threw her head back against the seat and gave out a tremendously big sigh once again. Her frown seemed too of grown once she got out of the limo. She stepped out onto the concrete below her and put her fake smile back on her face. She was extremely good at doing this, which wasn't exactly a good thing.
A load of people surrounded them as the father and daughter both stood side by side. Everyone except them walked respectively through the big oak double doors into the service.

They watched everyone make there way into the service and eventually made there way in behind them. Skyler turned behind her ,as she made her way walking down the centre of the room, she saw her mums coffin being carried in behind them. She was on the verge of breaking down in front of the whole family. She suddenly took another deep breathe and carried on walking with her dad already a few steps in front. She took a seat at the front of the service with her father next to her. Her father showed no feelings at all, he looked numb. Skyler couldn't tell whether he was upset or just a total idiot altogether.

"Thank you everyone for gathering here today to remember the life of Karen Benson, she lived a happy life with her daughter Skyler and her husband Colin. Karen didn't want a big send off today, she just wanted a few words from the people the most closest to her, so first up we have her daughter Skyler Benson," The funeral celebrant said.

Skyler rose from where she was sat. Her hand was trembling with nerves or fear, she couldn't grasp which one. She didn't want to disappoint her mum but deep down in her heart, she knew whatever she did or whatever she said her mum would still support her and be proud of her. She slightly boosted her own confidence by knowing that very fact.

Ski walked up to the front of the service where the celebrant greeted her with a warming hug. You could tell Skyler really needed that comforting hug more then anything. She stood behind the eulogy and gripped it with all her strength and gave yet another fake smile to the people around her. She looked at her father and gave a deep breathe with a smile. She was expecting a smile back but she knew that she shouldn't expected that of him

So she started, "Thank you everyone for coming here today, to celebrate the life of my beautiful and extraordinary mother. She wasn't just my mother she was my best friend. She was such a heart warming, lovely lady, that was taken from this world way too quick, just like everyone else. I remember the last conversation we shared together. I said to her that she will get over this and she will beat it but It breaks me to say this but I was wrong. But in my heart she will always be a survivor."
She saw Layla in the crowd and shot her a smile. She carried on, "My mother lived a happy life with me and my dad. I will be truly lost without her. And if you can hear this mother, you are my forever and you always will be. So thank you mother for everything you have ever done for me, I'm so proud of you. I can't wait to see you again soon because I miss you more then anyone will ever know. So until we meet again, I love you mummy Benson."

Her speech came to an end. Her eyes watered more then ever. She started crying and couldn't control herself this time. She ran down the steps, through the room and out of the door and was sobbing away as everyone turned to just gawk at her running out. Layla ran out the door after her but she must of been too late. Syler got into the limo and slammed the door shut before Layla could even get a word out to her.
"Take me back to the house please," she said still sobbing. She tried to calm but she just wasn't calming down. Her hyperventilating became stronger and stronger, her head started to become more and more lightweight. Thats when she realised she was starting to have a panic attack...