You know that feeling you get when you think you like someone but you're in denial because you don't know for sure ? Thats how I felt. I was standing right here , right now in front of her. But how can I be sure if I've barely known her. Love at first sight? I thought. No. That can't be real. Not at all. I don't believe , I choose not to ...
- I woke up early this morning waiting from a call from Becky. But then I thought that I should make the first move. And then I also thought how maybe I shouldn't make up things in my
mind because what if she didn't feel what I think I feel for her ? What if the only thing she was looking for in me was a friendship ?
I was sitting on my bed shirtless thinking about all of these what ifs . Trying to make sense out of all of them. "Hey man." I heard a barefoot Alex say to me as he walked into my room. He immediately forward himself into my closet . "Morning man." I replied as I watched him pick out one of my shirts.
"Can I borrow this? Thanks." Before I even knew I he had already out it on . He rushed out the doors , I assume he's on his way to meeting Samantha. "Sure." I mumbled . I shrugged my shoulders as if I was trying to take off some of the stress from this whole Becky situation.
Turning on the hot water first testing it and then turning on some cold water next to just the right amount for me to shower in. I did all my thinking in the shower to be honest. I thought about important things going on in my life, and I also made my decision to call Becky.
I mean what's the worst thing that could happen ? It's not like she'll be some total rude mean person because she's pretty nice. The more I thought about it the less I wanted to call. So I forced myself to pick up my phone and dial in her number.
It felt like an infinity as the phone rang, it kept beeping and she hadn't picked up. I was starting to get nervous. I've never felt like this before, what the h*ll? I thought. I've called other girls why was it different with Becky? Was it too early, maybe that's why she hasn't answered.
I was about to hang up but then. I heard her. "Hello?" I heard her say. Her voice sent shivers down my spine. I felt goosebumps all over my body and the hairs on my arms were standing up. What was this? I scratched the back of my head trying to calm myself down. And then she said it again, "Hello?"
I swallowed past this tense and took a deep breath. "Uhh- yeah Hi Becky." I said trying not to sound nervous or anything that could embarrass me. I walked back and forth across my room floor holding the towel tied around my waist so it wouldn't fall. I kept walking and the pace increased.
She giggled . 'Oh my God' I thought. "Hey Austin." The sound of her voice saying my name made my knees weak. I felt like a million pounds were settled up on my shoulders trying to bring me down. 'God Damm*t Austin say something' I told myself.
"I-Uhhh yeah Im --him , he's me - well I mean... Becky you want t-to hang o-out ?" Way to be cool Austin, great job . A+ for stupidity. I slapped my hand against my forehead, letting go of the towel that covered my nudity. I heard her, I'm not sure if it was a giggle but she was perfection.
She sighed. "Yeah , I-Umm sure." I could hear her slow breathing and I could swear to you it gave me LIFE. "So I'll Umm get ready and you can text me where we can go or yeah so ..." She sounded perfect. "I- bye Austin." I imagined her smiling and I couldn't handle this.
"See you later Becky." I smiled and hung up. I took out a deep breath, my stomaching extending the size of the towel letting it loose and when I finished breathing the towel fell to the floor . I got red with embarrassment. Although no one did see me . I quickly pulled the towel back up to my .waist to cover myself up and hurried up to change .
- I checked my hair out finishing up for my date with Becky. I mean not like a date which it felt like it was more like friends, but it felt like our first date. I don't even know what I feel right now. Im making no type of sense . I Had texted Becky earlier to let her know where we would be going, But she hadn't replied yet . I sat down on a really sad looking chair. I felt bad for that chair because the would be me if Becky wasn't feeling the same things I felt when I called her. I didn't want to be that lonely chair in between all the other happy chairs.
I wanted Becky to feel the same things I felt for her, those shivers on the back of my spine didn't lie. I liked her. Maybe a little bit more than friends. I just knew I wanted to be with her, for some reason it was her who I was weak for. I felt like if I didn't see her ever I wouldn't be able to take it.
My phone buzzed to the sound of Becky's text message. It's read:
"Ready when you are..."
A smile spread across my face from cheek to cheek, because I was ready . Ready to never let go.
