Remember the Lanterns

Hee Seong

"Are we together?" Hee Seong asked. It was Christmas. He tries to brush the hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ears, but I push his hand away.
Like now? Obviously.
No like together together.
I continue to play dumb: what do you mean?
Hee Seong is fun. This is why I had spent so much time with him over the last few weeks. He is the first guy that I have actually liked a lot since YS. We got along extremely well, and while we were sleeping together, in my mind it was mostly as a friend. Plus, sadly, his penis was tiny. I enjoyed his fingers though, nonetheless because he performed magic with them. I think he knew how small he was, and had therefore compensated in other ways. He was also a smoker, and I could never be with a smoker. But, I really liked him and enjoyed spending time with him, and actually, we had become really close in the last little while. It had all started on the weekend of the English club meeting: on Saturday he had asked me out, and we ended up playing ping pong (I can play, but he was really good), and on Sunday, after my bball with Danny, he asked me out for coffee and we ended up staying for hours, chatting and laughing. We just got along extremely well.
I mean, are you my girlfriend?
After our first coffee date, we had chatted on the phone that week every night, usually for at least thirty minutes. It was fun, getting to know him. The following weekend I had gone away for the Chuseok holiday, up into Korea's northern province Gang-won do. It was a beautiful vacation and I felt free. I explored several coastal cities, including the one with the penis park, which was a memorial to a young girl who died trying to save her boyfriend in a storm. She had died a virgin, and the story goes that after her death, fishermen of the village couldn't catch anything to save their lives. One day, one of the frustrated fishermen jerked off into the sea, and all of a sudden, the fish returned. They surmised that the ghost of dead girl was horny, and placated her by erecting penis sculptures for her enjoyment, all over the place. I had a great time being the only one there, and using the timer on my camera, taking shot after shot of me posing with the penises. I

had also taken the cable car up Seo-rak san, South Korea's largest mountain, which was beautiful. I had gone at just the right time: cold enough that there weren't many tourists, but beautiful weather with colorful foliage. I was planning to stay the last night of my holiday in Chuncheon, but not finding a hotel or public bathhouse to sleep in and with Hee Seong calling me to see where I was, I decided to take the 4 hour bus back to Daegu. I arrived at about 10pm, exhausted, but Hee Seong would have none of it, and he convinced me to go out with him. I had a shower, put on some make up and met him at fish n grill for mango and yogurt soju cocktail pitchers. He loved hearing my penis park story, and wished that he could have come up to Gang-won do with me. Later, when I was good and drunk, we went back to my place where he gave me an orgasm before passing out on my floor. But I had no problems with that, I had been quite a good mess myself. Actually, that's one thing that's quite different about Korea. The tolerance for being drunk was astounding. Staggering home after several too many was a past-time for many. Websites such as blackoutkorea.com documented such phenomenon, and the question of "How much can you drink?" was asked all of the time and by everyone. The more bottles of soju one could consume, the better person you were, or something...
Noone ever said things like "maybe you shouldn't drink tonight" or "don't you think you've had enough for one night?". Hangovers were greeted with gifts of vita-power and other vitamin filled recovery drinks. If you ever told someone you liked to drink, they would reward this with gifts of scotch or whiskey. I had so much of the stuff in my cupboards, I didn't know what to do with it all.
Do you want to go into town? I ventured. Have a drink?
Don't you have anything here?
Ya, plenty, but I'd like to go out.
Hee Seong clearly wanted to resume the conversation I had now twice, cut off.
Show me what you have, he maintained. I gestured to the cupboard. He selected some white wine and poured us glasses. I added Cider to mine (Korea's version of 7up or Sprite) and downed it. I guess if we weren't going out, I may as well enjoy drinking.
More? He asked.

Why not?
He clearly wanted me to stay drunk. He always did. Probably because I never slept with him if I wasn't. I was starting to think that I'd had enough of that kind of therapy though. I guess there is only so much a woman can orgasm from fingers only. At some point, she wants some meat in her. We finished the bottle off in no time. It was good wine. He grabbed the whiskey next and poured a couple of whiskey waters and set out some anju from the slim pickings in my fridge and cupboard. I told him I wasn't hungry, but out came the popcorn, kimchi and left-over ddeokbokki.
Remember our first night at Fish-n-grill? He said slyly. Sure.
You told me a lot of things that night.
Oh, did I? All I could remember was the penis park story. I scraped the edges of my brain to find anything that might account for the knowing smile on Hee Seong's face.
Yes. Many things. Like what?
Oh! I can't tell you know Hannah. But you don't worry. All of your secrets are safe. I won't tell anyone else.
I don't have any secrets! A bold-faced lie.
Oh Hannah. You forget? Many many things, you told me. He was enjoying this. I let him. In the end, it didn't matter what I had told him, because, even then, I was doing better, and I had started to think of YS in the past tense. After that horrible night with Dr. Kim, I had finally started to move on. Plus I had a lot to look forward to! It was my favourite time of year in Daegu: fall. It was never that cold, and the weather was almost always nice, and the trees were just beautiful. Many a hiking club organised trips to local mountains to enjoy the colourful scenery, but I was pretty happy to don nice scarves or hats or whatever, and wander down the river near my house, where my second time in Daegu had all began. I was back to enjoying sitting and reading in coffee shops and in general, finally enjoying doing my own thing. I had Hee Seong too, whom, despite his efforts, I had stopped sleeping with and was enjoying as a friend. It was a good time. Christmas was approaching, and while I remained single, I was not fearful

of the prospect of weathering the holiday season alone. Sadly, my work schedule and savings account would not permit me to return home for the holidays. My birthday, however, falls just a couple of days before Christmas. That evening, I received a huge basket of flowers at work. I had had evening classes and as I got up to the sixth floor and started heading over to the teacher's office, the front desk staff called me over to promptly place on the counter, a monstrous basket of beautiful flowers. The note read: Happy Birthday, from a secret admirer. I knew that YS had sent it. I wasn't sure why he had, but I texted him to say thank you and Merry
th
Christmas nonetheless. He never replied. The next day, the 24 , there was
another gift from him, a woolen hat and a scarf.