The Valuable Sun

Chapter 23: Part 1

Pam was a small comfort. Brooklynne knew her vampire sister was grieving too, and probably trying to think of all the places Eric and Bill could be right now, all the places they'd be tomorrow, and all the places they'd never be again. Brooklynne had spent the last three nights at Fangtasia, knowing Pam would need the support, and that she certainly wouldn't want it. Not that Brooklynne could help the vampire. It was Pam who had spent the last century with Eric. It was Pam who could legitimately feel his loss and truly miss him. In truth, being close to Pam made Brooklynne feel close to Eric, but she liked to think they were better together than apart. There were a family, and Pam hadn't asked her to leave her alone, and deep down, Brooklynne knew Pam wanted to look after her too, though she'd die before she would admit it. They were both hurting, and Pam had her moments of vulnerability that she had only allowed Brooklynne to see, only Brooklynne, because she was her sister, Eric's progeny, the love of his life, and she would die for her as he would, because she knew he'd want her to. She knew he'd want them to be a family, to take care of each other. So she kept the same look on her face, that pissed-off look that Brooke had come to love and find reassuring, because that was who her sister was. She was strong and she didn't depend on a man to go on. Pam could do this. It would hurt like nothing else, but she would do it. For Eric. For Brooklynne. For herself. Brooklynne wasn't as strong. She couldn't go on or even pretend to be okay. She sat on his throne, up on that stage, staring at the door, waiting for Eric to walk through it with Bill. She was still in denial. She couldn't believe he was gone. She couldn't believe that he had left her behind. It hurt too much, and thinking about it just felt like torture. It was tearing her apart in the inside. Her only comfort was Pam, and that supernatural feeling, that certainty, that her maker was still alive. For now.

"This is the worst night ever."

She had said those words. Those foolish words. And Eric had known better. Eric always knew better.

They had saved the vampires of Bon-Temps from a psycho necromancer and that was how the AVL and the Authority had chosen to repay them? She gave her life for this? It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. And Eric had broken all of his promises, in the name of love, he had left her behind, because he had to pay the price, he was the one running away, from what, from whom?

The rage built up inside of her and she felt her blood boil. She wanted to kill someone, anyone, everyone. They were in his club, laughing, not knowing what he had sacrificed, what she had sacrificed, for them, for their miserable lives, and she wouldn't get a thank you, Eric wouldn't get a thank you. Not, all he got was a death sentence. And as she sat there she thought of all the vampires, all those baby vampires, like her, who thought they were so cool and dangerous, whose makers had probably abandoned them as soon as he had made them, who barely knew how to glamour someone, how to bite a human being without draining them completely, she thought about those people, stared at those people, who were bragging about not drinking Tru Blood, because Tru Blood were for pussies and real vampires drank real human blood. They spat on all that Eric and Bill and even she had fought for. She had fought for it that night when she died at that AVL conference to enforce the Authority's mainstreaming agenda. How was any of it fair? She wanted to go home and run to her grandmother, her gran would have something wise to say, or if she didn't at least something comforting. She'd cook her favourite meal, even at midnight, and she'd play cards with her until she felt better, until she were too tired to be upset. How could they live like this? Did they know how unfair it all was? Did they know how much people sacrificed for them to be able to live in their blissful ignorance? She hated them. She wanted them gone. She wanted them dead.

Pam, who was sitting on the throne beside her, staring at the same people she had, suddenly lifted her head. The movement tore Brooklynne from her descent into madness and brought her back to reality, as if she had fallen asleep and all of her thoughts had only been a nightmare, a manifestation of her subconscious. Brooklynne stared at the vampire, waiting for her to speak as it seemed she had heard something she had missed. But all she did was roll her eyes in that dramatic way of hers and her pissed-off face seemed even angrier as she shook her head.

"That stupid bitch," she said before she disappeared.

Brooke wondered what Tara had done to have Pam run after her that way. The vampire had made it clear she wanted nothing to do with her progeny. Turning her had only been a courtesy to Sookie, who now owed her. However Brooklynne knew Pam wouldn't leave Tara defenceless. She knew one night, when she missed Eric the most, she'd want something in her life, to fill that hole he had left in her chest, and she'd take her role as a maker more seriously. Perhaps as seriously as Eric had taken it. As Godric had.

For a short moment, she wondered what it would be like to be a maker. The thought made her grimace. Not only because she'd probably never see her own maker again, but also because she couldn't imagine trying to turn someone just to wake up next to a corpse, to realise that her hybrid status made her unable to have any progeny of her own. She shuddered. She was 25 and had only been a vampire for a few weeks. She had no business even thinking about becoming a maker. The mere idea scared her.

Brooklynne took a deep breath and leaned back in her seat, thinking back about that time she had come here after her brother and ended up on Eric's lap, answering all his questions. She remembered how patient he had been with her, how interested. He had answered her questions too, and truthfully. She missed him. God, she missed him. And perhaps she missed him so much she had summoned him, or maybe she was hallucinating, but she was fairly certain the man who had just entered the club was Eric. She stared at him and he stared back. He looked surprised to find her on his throne. Surprised, but happy. Relieved. She stared, expressionless at him. She couldn't believe it, it didn't make any sense. But Bill appeared behind him, the King of Louisiana having entered the club last.

She didn't flinch when he made his way to her with incredible speed. He stood there, towering over her, the fabric of his pants grazing her bare legs. She didn't move, just stared back at him, not only in disbelief but in shock. She felt so many emotions at once, and perhaps if she had been human, it would have been easier, but now that she was a vampire everything was more intense. She felt happiness, of course, but that feeling of betrayal was getting stronger. The grief, the sorrow, the worry, the half-admitted anger of the past few days surged over her. Almost suffocated her. Her eyes filled with human tears, and he saw it all. Everything she was feeling, he saw it in her eyes because he knew he had done that to her, he knew it was his fault.

As happy as she was to see him there, at that moment, safe and alive, she still felt the pieces of her broken heart fall apart inside her chest. And as Bill shouted at the entire club to pay their bill and get out, neither Eric nor Brooklynne moved, because of all the things he wanted to say to her, none of it sounded good enough, and of all the things she had imagined doing if he ever came back she could only think of one thing. And as she stared back at him, a tear falling down her cheek, all she could see was him snapping her neck, leaving her behind.

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