Scarlet Reincarnation (Editing)

Chapter 3: The sorrowful past

A few weeks have passed and I'm still uncomfortable with the situation... First off, who'd be comfortable reliving their life as a baby while having the mind of a 26 year old adult? Nevertheless, I was able to adapt quickly. I wonder why...? This is all so strange..but strangely I'm accepting this ridiculous situation despite many odd circumstances.

What's more odd? Sophie- no, Scarlett didn't even notice this.

A strange pain stinged her head and she decided not to think about it anymore. As if it's not worth it.

Huh? Oh right, anyways, it's strange..the feeling of having a family.

Perhaps it was because she was drunk of this dream like situation. A happy and loving family, not lacking anything, loved and well respected.
A family, a concept which she have never thought of in her past nor did she need it...

My parents looks at me with such warm eyes as if they were already grateful of my existence and that they love me.

Whenever I see those eyes, something twists in my stomach and I have unexplainable and unnamed feelings swell up on me.

It was........ I don't understand it but I didn't hate it either. I never had a family of my own. I did had friends that I treasured more than my life but somehow this feeling is....different.

In my past life, I was Sophia. I did had a family but they died early when I was only 5 years old. My grandma decided to adopt me but because of her age and some health complications, she died.

I was mearly 6 when all of this things were happening, I didn't even understand the concept of death yet, while the others looks at me like I was a disgusting curse.

I didn't understand anything. The only thing in my mind was when are 'they' coming home. When?

My aunt, on my mother's side, decided to take me under her wing but it was merely a sense of responsibility and a bit of pity. They too, even if not visible, were wary of the small child.

Her parents did die early and when her grandma took her, she died too. My aunt gave me shelter, food, clothing, and education. Nothing more, nothing less. Like an excess baggage in the house.

They wouldn't even look at me or pay attention to me but...... I was grateful, at least they're treating me properly.

That was my mind set on the age of 10. While growing up, I too saw myself as a curse. I couldn't even remember my parents or even my grandma's faces.

'Did I even loved them? They died because of me yet I can't even remember their faces, voice or their personalities. Did I even loved them?...'

I can't remember. Because of this I gradually lost my emotions and just used my reasons and my logic. I was empty. When I became an adult I left my aunt quickly and became independent.

When I was 18 I entered college. I was pretty smart as I base all the things on my life in reasons and my logic. I was able to prioritize the necessary rather than useless joys and hobbies.

There was a freshman party. I had to attend to show respect to the seniors who organized the party. The party was held on a shooting range. It was all for fun.

One of the seniors pushed me on trying it and I refused but they kept on insisting and I was forced to participate. Shockingly, but not really, rather, the one's that are shocked are the people on the party because I did pretty good for my first time.

To be exact, all of my grades in p.e are top notch as I was agile and fast. I was quick to react.

Soon I became a soldier, I don't know how it happened but someone scouted me and I was recruited. At least I could put my curse to use, I thought.

I really don't think that I have a curse but this trauma cannot be easily removed even if I am emotionless. It was like part of my body.

But somehow there.... There I found my happiness. I met 3 people at the camp that are the closes to me and the people I treasured the most: Tricia, Michael and Jonathan.

Because of them I found my long lost emotions and treasured myself and the others. I was happy. I've never been so happy.

But the war soon started and we we're betrayed by Michael. At first I found him suspicious, as I was quick to notice things but I erased my doubts because I wanted to believe in him

No, I lied, it's because I didn't want to believe it.

I hated it, I cut it off before I could even doubt him, I wanted to protect this happiness, I wanted this this moments to remain as it is, but because of that selfish and naive thought Tricia and Jonathan died.

I was so angry at myself. All the emotions that filled me up were nothing but regret, hatred and vengeance.

I wanted to kill him and then kill myself as I couldn't even protect the ones that I love but Tricia and Jonathan said that I should live for their sake. Live the life that I wanted so that, they too will treat it as their life.

I wanted to kill Michael but the war already ended. And so I found ways...... I became an assassin. I gave him the most painful death ever.

The world was cruel, I needed power, intelligence and strength to protect those who I love but I threw away one of those because of a trashbag. He sold us out for a bunch money. It was disgusting.

Thanks to Jonathan and Tricia I still have some emotions left and I treat myself as a human being. Though most of my emotions are slyness. I sometimes laugh too and became sad. I've become more humane.

Even after they died, I still loved them because they gave me a gift, this thing called emotions. I'm happy but at the same time it's painful.

I sometimes missed the warmth that covered me back at the camp but it was impossible. Because I already knew how reality worked at the age of 6.

They were never gonna come home...