Why me? (Ushijima X Reader story)

Chapter Eighteen: late night talk / TW slight mention of blades and etc ⚠️

Tw: this chapter has slight mentions of blades and background trauma  ⚠️

A/n: I loveeee this vibing with Kenma at 2:00am playlist it goes with this chapter kinda. I would recommend listening to it even tho the chapter gets a lil dark but hehehe

Y/n POV: how could I let them see me like this...I'm really pathetic.

I woke up and looked at the clock it was 3:42 am, I turned to see oikawa, iwazumi, Kuroo, Kenma laying down asleep. They stayed the night after seeing me like that. I don't remember much just oikawa running to me holding me and iwazumi taking it from my hand. I cried into oikawa arms and started falling asleep. Now I'm up and hungry I look at the bag they brought me... my f/f but it's cold. I get up and make my way to the bathroom but before I go I felt someone pull me. "Kenma?" I turn and see Kenma his eyes were red and swollen and his hair was a bit messed up.

Kenma: "Y/n where are you going?"

Y/n: I kinda got hungry so I thought I-

Kenma: Oh let's go to McDonald's or somewhere

Y/n: I would appreciate that thanks Kenma...

Kenma: Ofc here take my hoodie and let me brush your hair

Y/n:Kenma you don't-

Kenma:No I want to please y/n

Kenma pov: I just couldn't sleep knowing y/n was doing this to herself. All I could think of is why would she feel the need to. Have i been a shitty friend to have never noticed. Ugh when did this start happening I wasn't there for her when she needed me. What could have I done differently. I turn my head and look at y/n sleeping peacefully her eyes were a bit swelled up but yet she looked so beautiful. Then I seen her arm... those marks, it was around 1 am I got up and looked in her bathroom cabinet finding some ointment and bandages. I lift her arm slowly and clean the wounds but I notice some more marks that we're already there but you could hardly notice them they almost faded... why did I barley notice them now. Once I finished wrapping her wounds I proceed to look though her room knowing it was wrong but yet I'm still concerned. I find a bag of them why is there so many and most have blood on them. Fuck y/n what else have you been doing... and I notice a bottle. Y/n Walmart pharmacy Depression pills take 1 capsule by mouth daily. I go back putting the bag in kuroos mini backpack. I seen y/n get up and I laid down fast to seem as if I was asleep the whole time wondering what she's going to do. I see her heading to the bathroom but I rather make sure. After talking with her we decided to go to Burger King. She's wearing my hoodie and her hair i combed it so it would make her some what confident with herself.

As we walk together to Burger King I can't help but see her slightly smile at all the night lights.

Kenma: Y/n?

Y/n: Yeah Kenma?

Kenma: You love the neon light don't you

Y/n: Ofc the way the city is all lit up even this early on the morning

Y/n: Look we are here Kenma

Kenma: What would like y/n

Y/n: For sure the kids meal

Kenma:You so would want a kids meal

Y/n: Omg Kenma can we get crowns

Kenma: Yes we can y/n

Kenma: Sit down and I'll order

Kenmas pov: As I order she seemed so happy she had a huge smile it seemed genuine but what if she's been faking this smile all along. I'm overthink now I had lost focus and ordered more than I should have but it's fine.