Chapter 5

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P.O.V Narrator


The words spoken by Pascal made Carl's mind twist in doubt. He had discovered his feelings, and that was what bothered him.
When he didn't know what he felt, he could just lock himself in his illusions and pretend that nothing happened, but this time it was different.
The sensation he felt a few minutes ago still stirred him, leaving him out of reality.
There were so many questions, so many fears, so many things to ask, but the only thing that managed to leave his lips was:


"What do I do?" - He asked, without enthusiasm or concern, it was as if he was empty inside.


Pascal, who was still near the benches, looks at the floor for a few seconds before answering. He wasn't sure what to say, he wanted to be honest but at the same time he didn't want to hurt Carl.
He suffered because he watched him suffer.
The sentences should be formed and said carefully, in a way that would calm him down. He didn't need any more doubts and concerns at this point.
Saying what he felt to Serge was not possible, there was no way a relationship could happen between them, and their friendship would be damaged.


"Only you can decide what to do, but I advise you to try to move on. You're simply going through an unrequited love, it's not the end of the world, and things will get better with time." - The older boy replies, trying to comfort Carl.


The redhead's intentions were good, but the young boy's bruised heart could hardly forget his suffering. He still couldn't believe his feelings for his friend.
Sitting on the chair, Carl's hands covered his face while his elbows rested on his legs. He was confused and worried about what might happen.
What would he do the next time he met Serge or Gilbert? He couldn't stay away, after all they were friends and needed to stay together. The dark-haired boy's thoughts tormented him.


"Pascal, what do I do?" - Carl asked again, ignoring the first answer he was given.


Without understanding the reason for the question, the scientist kept quiet. He could clearly hear his friend's shaky voice, it sounded like he was holding back tears.


"How did I let this happen? I still have feelings for women, so how is it possible to feel that way about Serge?" - Shame prevented him from looking at his friend.


Seeing him in that state broke the elder's heart, he didn't want Carl to feel bad just for being who he is. At the same time that he became concerned, he felt angry at those who taught him to feel that way.


"The sexuality of human beings is a complicated thing. I have been studying it for so many years, and there is still a lot to learn. What you feel for Serge does not change what you feel for women... or other men." - Pascal said with the intention of calming his friend.

"I already said and I will repeat, the only advice I can give you is to try to overcome this unrequited passion. Sometime this will pass, and everything will be fine." - The redhead said again, this time returning to sit in front of Carl.


As the hands of the younger boy stopped covering his eyes, he was still looking at the floor, upset as usual.
Whenever Carl found himself thinking about this, he felt like he was alone in the world, but not this time. Pascal's presence and everything he did, from listening to him without judgement or even the experiment, had made him feel better.
Things may be complicated now, but at least he had someone to rely on.
Carl slowly raises his head, this time looking at the friend in front of him. As much as he felt guilty and ashamed, he also felt better for talking to someone and understanding what he felt.

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