HerPeace

7- Envy

*MALAYAH POV*
Later that day

Me and momma were packing bags for us to fly back to Carolina to identify Marlons body.

I had  packed around 3 days worth of clothes because momma said we was coming back home on Tuesday and we're leaving on Saturday.

Honestly I hope they don't expect us to put on a sob face because I could care less if that man is alive.

He done put me through more pain than anything and now that I'm away from it I can heal.

I refuse to go through what my mother went through. Fathers are supposed to be a role model of what you want in a man but all I learned from him was what not to fall for.

That man didn't even want to be seen in public with us. And it used to hurt but as I got older I stopped caring.

I'd hate to have to smile and laugh on the side of a abusive whore playing father for the cameras.

I packed Bug a bag and she was sleep, she didn't take the news as bad as I thought she would.

Yeah she cried and screamed but honestly I was expecting more, since she's so young and little kids seem to ignore the bad and only see the good in people.

I texted Aaron back cause he sent me a tiktok. I know he's going to question why I wasn't going to be in class on Monday and Tuesday so imma think of a lie tonight.

He sent me a tiktok and it said "The person who sent you this thinks you should stop playing"

I "HaHa'd" the message and texted him back "stop playing with what🙃?" And I put my phone on DND.

Not even on no simp shit when I saw he sent that I got butterflies.

It wasn't even supposed to be like this. Aaron was supposed to be JUST my friend but when you talk to him and you.. not even just talk you listen to him you can't help BUT to feel some type of way.

He's so humble but he's so confident. I wanna be like him when I'm older.
Maybe that's just how he presents himself to me but regardless these feelings I have for him are real.

*A/N: Based on a true story or whatever law and order say🙄 but not me telling my business in this damn bookkkk*

I'm not even the type to go for looks but he so damn fineeeee and he makes me so happy and he has such a kind and genuine heart.

I sound like a simp eww real hot girl shit ahh.

My momma called me knocking me out of my thoughts and I'm not even mad.

"Malayah come here please" she whispered.

She probably whispering because Bug is sleep but her TV on so she's awake.

"Here I come" I yelled back cause why are we whispering the hell.

"Why the fuck you yelling in my damn house if you don't see me yelling why the fuck you yelling? You got some damn ner-" she kept going but I stopped listening after that cause now you yelling so your point is irrelevant.

My mind started drifting and I thought about the food we ate earlier. That shit was good as fuck.

And then my mind drifted to Aaron and the picture he posted earlier. He so damn fine and he knows he's fine.

And his fine ass wants me. A flex if you ask me. I started blushing thinking about how his face lit up and he talked about basketball.

And how the smile he had when talking too his sister was brighter than any other smile you'll ever see.

His eyes held such purity in them when he was excited and pure joy and that's rare to find most days.

I started  laughing but I guess I did out loud  and my momma caught me.

"What lil boy you thinking about girl" she smirked.

"Whaaaaattttt I just can't be happy? Why it gotta be a boy?"

"I know that smile, that's the smile I have when I think about Li- girl don't be questioning me the hell" she almost gave herself up.

If she want me to tell my business she gone have to tell hers first.

"ma you got a boyfriend or a lil woot da woot, a sneaky link, a lil yeah? Ma you got a boo thang that I don't know about?" I said trying to get the heat off of me.

Layah a big gangsta and big gangstas don't get caught. What Bryson say "I'll be damned if I let em catch us".

Plus if she asks imma tell and then I'd have to come to terms that I have feelings for my homeboy and I don't like that.

As long as it's in my head I can deny it but once I say it it's set in stone especially to my mother.

"I'm in a relationship yes... I didn't tell you because until recently we were in a compromised situation. His name is Liam and he makes me feel safe, loved and appreciated"

Seeing my mom happy makes me happy. Honestly just seeing anybody happy makes me happy.

Hearing her talk so highly of him I couldn't even be mad hearing her say somebody let alone a man makes her feel safe just made me so happy.

When you've been through the things she's been with one man it can change your outlook on all men and with the shit going on in the world it's just hard to feel safe with anybody.

"I guess I can tell you but I'm not dating anybody though. It's this one boy his name is Aaron... he's tall, darkskin he has waves and his eyes are brown and blue. He's so kind but you can tell he's been hurt. I wanna help him I wanna fix him. But I'm not going to hurt myself while doing so."

I continued rambling on about Aaron fine ass and she told me more about Liam and it felt good. Me and my mother were always close considering our situation but being able to bond like this.
It felt different.

I don't wanna change this feeling. It doesn't feel like I'm going to identify the body of the man whose supposed to be my father tomorrow. It doesn't feel like anger or hurt it feels like Peace.

Mama and I fell asleep on the couch in living room and I guess bug came in in the middle of the night.

*Next day after plane ride*

We landed in South Carolina and got checked in to the hotel room and immediately went to the hospital where dad was supposedly at.

As we got there we asked the secretary lady where we were asked to be and she told us, we went to room 408 which is where he was and when we got there I saw who I'd never wanna see again.

The room was full of people who I could've lived another year without seeing. My blood was boiling and I started crying angry tears.

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HEY YAWL y'all missed me😫
I missed y'all too🙄but y'all don't be voting and it's cooo cause imma still update