The Slayer

17 - Realisation ♪

[Play the video to read with music]

I winced and held my head in my arms
as memories came flooding back. I was lying on the floor, crying in pain as the heat engulfed me. Mom frowned and between her sobs, she slowly reached her hand out, touching mine.

She immediately flinched, shrieking in pain as she withdrew her hand. Her hand was burnt, blisters already forming. She screamed when she saw my red hot hands.

"M-mom?" I tried to get up, to walk towards her. She moved back and got off the bed.

"Stay away! S-stay away!" She yelled.

People came rushing into the room, having heard the commotion.

All of them gasped in terror on seeing me. I looked at myself and realised that my whole body was engulfed in flames. My skin had no damage, but I could feel the pain. I was burning. The heat was building up, rising inside of me.

"Help me! Help! Please," I yelled, sobbing.

The room was filled with screams as everyone ran out. Some tried to grab their phones and call the firefighters. I was going to blow up. The pain was killing me. The heat rose and rose until I heard a sound. Then everything went black.

Darkness. The same burning feeling. I couldn't see anything with my burning eyes. Screams. The crackle of raging fire.

Sounds of mom screaming and begging for her life. Sounds of a baby crying.

"You monster!" Someone yelled. The noise dulled and lessened until there was nothing.

Nothing except guilt. I inhaled sharply as I surfaced from the past.

I broke down, pulling at my hair. I hugged myself, clawing at my skin. What had I done..? I was a murderer. I killed all those people. I was him, the person who I hated the most. I was filled with self loathing.

Did I even deserve to live after what I'd done?! So many families destroyed, including mine. And all because of me. I killed them! I killed my own mom... Why!?

I was filled with self loathing as my tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt like I was going insane. I'd been filled with so much hate for him. I had hated myself for being weak.

But now, I wanted everything to go back as it was... I wished I could go back to the time when Amy was my biggest problem. I wished I'd never left home. At least then I wouldn't have known.

I wouldn't have known that I was a murderer. That I was the reason I was the reason I was orphaned. That I had been the monster all along.

I thought back to that day, the carnage that I saw.

People-- half alive, screaming in pain.

Everyone I knew-- dead.

Everything I held dear, destroyed.

All because of me.

I was so stupid. How had I not realised this sooner? The clues had always been there, and I never noticed them. No, I did see them... I just chose to ignore them. I never let myself think about it.

There was a knock on the door.

My heartbeat fastened, and I cried out, sobbing loudly. If they had figured it out too... I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

"Rita?" Axel's voice.

"No, please don't... Just go away," I looked down. I leaned on the door, wiping my tears. I hated him. I hated him for letting me know. But I didn't want him to hate me.

"Rita, whatever it is, you can-"

"Please! Just... Leave me alone!"

"I'm sorry... I don't know-"

"Just go."

"Okay..."

I got up and lay down on the bed, screaming into the pillow. I cried till I had no tears left and drowned into a sleep filled with nightmares.

"How could you!? You killed me... You monster! Mom shook me by the shoulders, slamming me against the wall, her whole face burnt unrecognisably.

"What's wrong with you!? What did I deserve to have a daughter like you!? You murdered me... Did you kill your father too? Huh? Did you, you bitch!?Maybe you just don't fucking remember it!" she yelled at me while I burned.

I screamed, covering my ears.

I woke up, huffing and panting, covered in sweat. I didn't know how much time had passed... My head hurt like hell and my eyes were red and swollen. I got out of bed and looked at the locked door. I had to go out sometime. Might as well do that now.

I stopped in front of the door and reached out a hand to the doorknob. My hand shook, and I stopped. I was afraid. I didn't want to face them. But I had to go out. They must be worried about me.

But to be honest, that was the thing that scared me the most. What if when I turned that doorknob, there wasn't anyone who cared? What if I was alone...? I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply.

I turned the doorknob, opening the door. I got out and found Axel leaning on the side wall, fast asleep. Did he actually wait here all the time for me? Even after I yelled at him..?

All my fears about being alone vanished as I saw his face. I smiled, and went into the bathroom and washed my face. I looked in the mirror.

I wanted to throw it down. Just looking at my face made me filled with rage. Tears surfaced in my eyes. No. I wasn't going to cry again.

I looked back at Axel. His hand looked red.. I went closer, and examined it. It had been burnt pretty badly, probably because of me. When he copied my power, he did withdraw his arm rather suddenly.

He stirred, opening his eyes.

"Rita..?"

I hugged him.

"Thank you..." I said.

"Why? I didn't do-"

"Shut up, klutz," I croaked, smiling. It might not mean much to him, but it did to me. Knowing that someone cared about me. Especially him. It mattered to me more he could ever know. As he hugged me back, I cried onto his shoulder despite my best efforts to hold back my tears.

"Hey, it's fine," he smiled. "You can tell me whenever you're ready, alright?"

I nodded, pulling back. I'd never tell him. Even if it killed me. Because if I told him, all this would be gone. He'd see me for the monster I was, he would hate me.

"What's the the time, even? I should.. go eat something," I mumbled.

"Yeah... Do you want to be alone for a bit..?"

I nodded, turning red. I got up and walked into the hall. I sat on the chair by the dining table, contemplating over everything that had happened. It was late at night and I could hear the crickets chirping and the slight patter of rain. Monsoon wasn't over yet.

Just then, I heard someone's footsteps. I looked back and saw Airen.

I wiped my tears away, sniffing.

"What are you doing up so late?" I asked.

He walked towards me, and stopped, standing right in front of me. He was holding his hands to his back. The awkward silence was killing me. I almost opened my mouth to say something.

Suddenly, he moved. He was pointing a gun at me, his hands shaking. I looked at him with a pained expression, confused.

"What-"

"Rita... It was you, wasn't it? You're him. You're the one who killed them." He said, cocking the gun.

🔥

QOTD: How do you think Airen knows? He was acting pretty sus ever since she met him. Any theories?

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