You don't know how much you hurt me
With a single glance
Its like you pin me to the ground
And shoot daggers through my chest
And when with every word you speak
I worry its the last
It's beautiful in the present
But its torturous when its in the past
You leave and you come
And you come as you please
Never knowing how often
You bring me to my knees
And though once i was free
You've invaded my own fantasy
And now i have no place to be
to be what was once left of me
But i can't blame you
It was never your fault
I've fallen so hard, maybe i'd fallen from the start
But i repressed it, so hard, desperate to believe it wasn't happening again, no, not to me
And things aren't different yet
But if i tell you they may be
And that above all is that which scares me
It scares me the most for all that could go wrong, the ten thousand realities where you let go and move on
And i'm left behind sitting in the dust unable to move because of how bound i have become to the thought of you
oh make it stop.
i wish it would end.
why won't my heart allow me to just call you my friend?
how dare it be so greedy as to claim
That in one of ten thousand realities, you might feel the same?
My mind knows its not true, and even if it were,
there are still nine thousand, nine hundred, ninety-nine in which i will never call you mine,
yes, its statistically insignificant,
a logical fallacy to suggest
that somehow, that one can beat all the rest
oh make it stop.
let it end.
i don't want to lose another friend
over a one in ten thousand, though its probably closer to zero, chance that my greedy heart fulfills its desire and shakes its fist at my mind which called it a liar
oh make it stop.
let it end.
as abruptly as our conversations did.
The end.
