I see it in your Eyes (you'll be alright)

Chapter 21

The first week of having Evie at home had gone by in a complete blur of dirty diapers and piercing wails. Jennie had forgotten just how taxing the whole thing was - she hadn't quite realized just how independent Ella had become until she had another little baby relying completely on her for everything. She tried to squeeze in little power naps where she could, endlessly thankful for Lisa and all the help that she was providing in terms of not only the baby, but also Ella and keeping things running within the house.

Jennie was already beyond exhausted. She wasn't quite sure if time existed anymore and she found herself, in the harder moments of the night, wishing that the baby could suck Lisa's boobs raw instead of her own.

Still, that didn't mean it was inherently a bad thing.

It was just an adjustment. An adjustment to the life that she had been living for the last few years. She'd had to adjust to Ella, and she had managed all on her own. Sure, she now had two kids to balance but she also had an extra pair of hands in the form of her wife to help her keep up with everything.

It was just a lot.

A lot to process after waiting for so long. Jennie didn't take for granted the fact that she had spent almost every night since Evie had been born wishing to be in this exact place where she had her whole family together. All the nights that she spent up alone, wishing so badly for the ability to cradle her baby to her chest and smell her little head.

It was those little things that kept her going throughout the harder nights - the knowledge that she was luckier than most. Some were left with lifelong debt due to the unexpected medical bills, some babies didn't even make it out of the NICU and their parents left the hospital with heavy hearts and empty hands.

It was a fact that she had never once taken for granted. She had a healthy baby girl, and Jennie herself was miraculously healthy and making a nice recovery from her surgery.

A small grunt from Evie caught her attention and Jennie realized that she had almost been drifting off amid all of her thoughts. She shifted in the large padded rocking chair - her favourite addition to the nursery - and then settled down with Evie once again.

She had been fussy all night, refusing to settle down and letting out a piercing wail whenever Jennie had tried to pass her over to Lisa. Jennie hadn't slept at all since the previous afternoon, and the little digital clock in the corner of the room informed her that it was quickly approaching 4am. She had taken her out of their bedroom a few hours ago, too worried that she would accidentally fall asleep in bed and smother the baby. Lisa had been awake for most of the night too, unable to fully settle knowing that Jennie was up.

She seemed to have fallen into a proper sleep now though, if the snoring coming down the hall was any indication. Jennie felt incredibly jealous of her wife in that moment, wishing so desperately that they could trade places.

"You know, you really would help mommy out if you'd just settle down for like an hour or two." Jennie spoke softly, voice rough from exhaustion as she stared down into the beautiful little eyes of her youngest daughter. "I think you maybe missed me too, huh? I didn't like leaving you all those nights, I'd take this over anything else. A little sleep would be nice too, though. I'll still be right here when you wake up, you don't have to worry about that my darling." she bargained with the little person wriggling around in her arms.

It got to the point, a mere few minutes later, where Jennie physically could not keep herself awake any longer. She rose slowly from the chair, willing Evie not to start screaming again, before padding back down the hallway towards her bedroom.

"Lisa." she whispered gently, giving her sleeping wife a little nudge with her free hand. "Lisa, babe, I need you to wake up."

"S' wrong?" Lisa mumbled as she scrunched her face up a little before opening her eyes. "S' baby okay?"