Midnight Ride | SKK/SSKK

Part 4

Chuuya awoke together with the sunrise just as usual. He was feeling dizzy from what he tried doing a day prior, but tried shaking off the feeling and turned to get up. While at it, he realized Dazai was still holding him close. When he took a better look at the sleeping brunette, he noticed his puffy eyes and sighed. Instead of getting up as he'd planned to, he just laid back on the bed and started moving his fingers through Dazai's chocolate locks. He looked so peaceful when he slept. Chuuya loved when Dazai was sleeping since it was the only time when the brunette stopped teasing the ginger.

Chuuya knew he couldn't go back to sleep once the sun was up, so he just laid in Dazai's embrace and admired his sleeping face. It looked really fragile like it would crumble if touched. Chuuya then felt a striking pain all over his body. The alcohol and pills he took yesterday left his mind a mess. While the cuts on his wrists were bandaged and healing, nothing could heal whatever was in the ginger's heart. He wanted to get out of there. He knew he wasn't a good influence for the brunette. I mean, Dazai came from a wealthy family and is going to a rather prestigious school, while Chuuya never had a family and can't even afford to pay his everyday rent.

He felt cold sweat go down his face as he felt like throwing up. He shot up and hurried to the bathroom. After puking whatever he ate a day prior combined with blood, he noticed the red liquid still on the bathroom floor. Chuuya sighed and sat down on the cold bathroom floor. He found some cigarettes in his back pocket plus a lighter, so he started smoking. As smoke left his lungs together with his sorrows, he just rested his head on the tile wall and stared at the closed light-bulb on the ceiling.

He regretted everything. He knew how much he hurt Dazai with his attempt. Even if it seemed as if the brunette was an emotionless brat, he was really the exact opposite of that. He struggled with expressing his emotions, so he chose to hide them instead. Chuuya saw through it a long time ago and now he's the only one who can tell whatever the brunette is thinking. As he finished the fifth cigarette, he heard footsteps from his bedroom. Looks like the bandaged maniac awoke at the smell of cigarette smoke.

Dazai opened the bathroom door and was hit by a wave of smoke. He covered his nose since it was too much to inhale at once, and went to pick up the ginger. The brunette opened the windows to the house and went back to scold the other. "Chuuya." the ginger didn't move his gaze from the ceiling. He was laying on the couch where the brunette had placed him. "Chuuya, look at me." Said Dazai as he approached the couch and sat down beside the shorter. "I won't leave until we talk about what I saw yesterday." Dazai said in a stern voice. Chuuya sighed and finally turned his gaze to the man sitting on his right. "Why?" he asked in a tired and broken voice from the smoke he'd inhaled that morning.

Dazai looked like he would break down in tears at any given moment. Chuuya's eyes were still as empty as they were a day prior. They were staring deep into his own hazel eyes, not showing any emotion. He then realized. Is that what he looks like when he has one of his suicidal episodes and the ginger has to save him? It's nightmarish. Dazai got closer to Chuuya's face, the ginger not flinching at all. Dazai stared into those empty azure eyes and said the unthinkable.

"Chuuya, I think I'm in love with you."

The ginger's eyes widened. Then, out of the blue, he started coughing furiously. Dazai backed away, going to bring his chibi a glass of water. When he returned though, the sight made him run towards Chuuya as fast as possible. The ginger was coughing blood. Unholy amounts of it. He even made a puddle in his palms. Dazai could hear a small gasp escape Chuuya's lips. That alone made Dazai tremble. He knew the ginger better than anyone, he knew that he'd always keep on a hard front in any situation. It's been this way ever since they met at 14 years old. So him being shocked by this event made things more serious than anything they've encountered until now.

Dazai took some paper towels and started cleaning the blood from everywhere. Chuuya was petrified. He was still looking at his palms as he felt a strong pain in his chest. He couldn't breathe. He started panting slowly trying to keep his breathing steady but failing miserably. Dazai noticed Chuuya wasn't feeling good and immediately ran by his side, holding him close and calling an ambulance. After ending the call, Dazai kept whispering calming words to the ginger while trying to keep him from passing out. The medics arrived shortly and took them both into the car.

Chuuya was put to sleep so he wouldn't struggle until they arrived. Dazai was holding the ginger's hand the whole time and was praying to any God out there to not let Chuuya die. They finally arrived at the hospital, and they told Dazai to take a seat and wait. He did as told, resting his face in his palms and quietly sobbing. He didn't want the ginger to be hurt, he loved him. He couldn't let that happen. So then he decided. He was going to stay with Chuuya non-stop for at least a few months to make sure he wouldn't try that again.

After waiting for what felt like years, a nurse finally came to him. "Are you with Mr. Nakahara?" she asked "Yes, how's he??" Dazai asked as if out of breath. The woman looked at the brunette before continuing. "He's in a terrible state. It seems he was drugged and had signs of resistance on both of his wrists. Do you happen to know what happened?" The woman asked with a hint of suspicion in her voice. Dazai told her how he'd found him in his bathroom half dead from his self-inflicted injuries and the sleeping pills he downed with alcohol. The nurse looked conflicted before telling the brunette to follow her.

They arrived at a bright hospital room. The woman led him in and swiped the curtains from one of the beds. Behind it, there laid an unconscious Chuuya. Tubes were impaled into his neck and he showed no signs of waking up any time soon. Dazai could feel his legs fall out as he clung onto the side of the ginger's bed and fell on his knees. He started weeping on Chuuya's hand as he forgot the nurse hadn't left. After calming down a bit, he turned his gaze to the other person in the room. With tears still falling out of his eyes, he asked "When is he going to wake up?"

The nurse stared at him with a look of pity plastered on her face. She sighed. "We're not sure yet, but from all we know, he might wake up in a few months or years even." She took a pause to let the brunette process the situation better, before continuing. "Does he have a legal guardian?" She asked. Dazai shook his head "No, he was an orphan most of his life." The nurse sighed as she wrote something in her notebook. "Well then, I'll leave him in your hands." She said, leaving the brunette alone with a sleeping Chuuya.

Dazai walked over to the bed once more and sat down on the stool beside it. He looked down at Chuuya as he felt tears falling down his face once more.

"I understand everything now. Why I'm here, why you appeared before me... You must be the angel who saves me from my own self." Dazai whispered, placing a kiss on Chuuya's forehead. It's the first time he ever felt scared for someone else's sake. He knew it was because the ginger in front of him mattered more to him than him himself.