Warning ⚠️: panic attack
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It isn't the most stereotypical thing...you know...both people in a relationship feeling so numb you can no longer eat. Some would say it isn't normal for a couple to rarely touch each other. Or maybe it's unusual for a couple to never speak to each other.
That was your normal.
Draco Malfoy has been your best friend since the start of Hogwarts, and the pair of you became lovers at the end of 5th year.
How selfish of him.
How selfish was it of him to ask you to be his boyfriend when he knew he wouldn't be able to love you like he wanted to? He knew all along that it'd come to the point where he couldn't bring himself to speak to you. But the only thing keeping him going..was that he could call you his..
You see, Draco Malfoy was recruited a death eater in the midst of the 5th year summer holidays. He was set a mission from the dark lord himself, and being the only male Malfoy capable of doing the job, his life was on the line. And so was yours
Draco was so terrified he'd slip up, he spent all the time he could in the Room Of Requirement fixing that bloody cabinet. His mind was consumed with dark, deadly thoughts. Thoughts that he was trapped with- he couldn't tell you what he was thinking, he couldn't bare to lose you..that's why he had to make you his, so that you were entitled to stay with him. He loved you. It was just hard for him to express that when such horrible thoughts were enveloping his mind.
You knew about Draco's situation. Well, you had an idea. You knew he was a death eater- it really wasn't that hard to figure out, even Saint Potter has started accusing him.
You also knew that he loved you. You could read Draco like a book. The pair of you have been unbelievably close for 6 years- so yes, you knew he loved you. Whatever he was doing, he was doing it to protect you. That's something only Draco Malfoy would do for someone he truly loved
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It was a Friday morning at breakfast. You were sat at the Y/H table, a fair distance away from Draco, yet you still had a clear view of him.
Bless him.
He looked so disheveled. So tired, so pale, so destroyed. If anything, all you wanted was to wrap your arms around him and tell him how amazing he was, how much you loved him. Yes, that's what he deserved.
Before you could day dream about your lover any longer, myriads of owls swooped into the Great Hall with post. As usual you got none, so you looked up to see if Draco had received any. To your surprise, he had.
You smiled softly as you watched his delicate hands peel the seal off the envelope, you chuckled as his lips started to mumble what he was reading
However the smile on your face quickly vanished as your saw the look of panic and worry on your boyfriends face. You've never seen him like this...Whatever that letter said...it can't have been good..
He frantically got up and began pacing out of the hall. He loosened his tie and he put his head down, looking down at his feet as he speed walked
You got up quickly, ignoring your friends calls of your name, and you followed him. You tired your best to keep up with his fast pace, whilst attempting to stay quiet
He unknowingly lead you into the bathrooms, his hands gripped onto the ceramic sink as he stared up at his awful reflection in the mirror. You stood away, so he wouldn't see you. He pulled his vest over his head leaving him in his crinkled, white shirt. God his mother would scold him for not ironing his shirt. His breath was getting caught in his throat and his hand gripped at his chest. Not long after, loud sobs were escaping your boyfriends mouth...
You took a few timid steps forward not wanting to scare him, and that was when Draco saw you in the mirror. His head whipped round to face you and that was when he crumbled. Seeing you, made him break down.
He fell to his knees and you wasted no time in rushing to his aid, wrapping your arms so tightly around him and rubbing his back. His breathing was fast and his face wet with tears
His breathing became so heavy, you thought he might pass out. You pleaded for him to calm down- you had no idea what to do, you've never seen him like this..you just wanted to help him
Groaning though his breathing, he escaped from your grasp, rushing to the cubicles of the bathroom. You thought you'd done something wrong until you heard the horrible sound of his throwing up into the loo.
Poor baby..
Yet again, you ran to his side, not caring if there was barely enough room for the both of you in the cubicle. You rubbed his back in a circular motion. Once he'd finished, you flushed the loo and grabbed a tissue before you started babying him, wiping the sweat and tears off your lovers face.
"Darling...it's alright I'm here.." you said softly into his ear
He looked up at you. Those were the words he so needed to hear. He looked up at you so lovingly...he'd become so delicate over these last weeks...you were scared he might break if you held him any tighter
He was sat on the floor so helplessly. All he wanted to do was tell you how much he loved you and appreciated you but he couldn't. How could he ever think you love him when he's in such a state??
"Y/N...I-I'm sorry..s-sorry for being such a...such a t-terrible boyfriend...y-you deserve someone e-else....someone normal...someone wh-whos not a m-monster..."
"Draco darling...don't be silly...you're no monster...you had no choice my love..." you noticed his breathing slowly come down to normal as he started at you, again with so much love "I love you alright? No matter what...don't ever doubt that..I'm not going anywhere" you stroked his messy blonde locks
"Love I-i"
"Shhh...you don't have to say anything..." you reassured him.
The pair of you were sat in each other's arms in the middle of the restroom...love prominent in both of your eyes. Draco didn't deserve this stress and anxiety, you knew that and deep down he knew it too. But as long as he had you, and you had him, you could take on the world. And oh boy...you'd be grateful for that in a years time...
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🤎
THANK U SO MUCH FOR 4K READS AHHH ILY!
I hope you enjoyed itttt!
