His Sister

Emergency

 Just like any other lazy day, I'm lying on the couch with a bowl of pretzels resting on my stomach. I lazily scoop handfuls and toss them into my mouth as I flick past endless commercials before finally settling on an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. By some miracle, it's an older episode instead of the mediocre remake. I end up watching a few despite my eyelids threatening to close at any given minute. At one point, I'm about to surrender to the grips of sleep, but my phone begins buzzing like crazy on the coffee table. I let out an exaggerated groan as I lean over the edge of the couch and try to keep my pretzels balanced. I manage to snatch up my phone and scoot back onto the cushion. I'm surprised to see a barrage of text messages from Ellie and as I read them, panic begins to set in. I sit up just as the doorbell begins ringing over and over again. My heart is racing as I rise to my feet and peer through the peephole. Sure enough, Jay is outside.

I open the door cautiously and see him pacing the porch. His face is bright red and looks like it was streaming with tears earlier. He stops and glares at me, his forehead wrinkling up from his enraged expression. I knew Jay had anger issues, but I've never seen him so angry. He almost looks like steam should be coming out of his ears.

"Hey... What's wrong?" I ask him quietly.

He looks at me with a bewildered expression, "What's wrong?"

"Yes, what's wrong?" I nod.

"You know what's wrong, Tara! You didn't even tell me. You fucking played me. And I let you!" He shouts, his voice lowering as tears threaten his eyes again.

My heart drops into my stomach, "What? What are you talking about?"

"Ellie told me all about it," He grimaces as he stuffs his hands into his pockets.

What was rage and hatred seconds ago has now devolved to sadness and confusion. He reaches up and brushes his hair out of his face, shaking his head. He wipes at his eyes and tries to regain his composure. I lean against the doorway, unsure of what to do or say. I was so afraid of this moment and now that it's here, I don't even know how to address it. I've had so much time to come up with things to say or how to react. Now, I have nothing to say at all.

"I should've known... People told me, I heard things, but I brushed them off..." Jay hangs his head and scuffs the toe of his shoe against the concrete beneath him, "I didn't want to believe them. I thought that you loved me."

"Jay—"

"You told me so many times that I guess I just figured there was no way you could be lying. I really believed that you meant it every time." He continues, looking up at me as tears slowly stream his cheeks again, "Why couldn't you just be honest with me, Tara? I don't understand. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Tell you what, Jay? What are you talking about?"

His sorrow turns to anger instantaneously, "That you're a fucking dyke."

I feel a sharp pain in my chest as he hits me with those words. Never in my life have I been spoken to with such hatred. I've never felt so disgusting and horrible before. I fight back tears of my own as he takes a step backward and shakes his head.

"You feel guilty?" Is all he wants to know as I attempt to stiffen my trembling lip, "I sure hope so."

I wipe at my teary eyes, silent.

"I can't even believe this. One year. And all the time before that. I thought you loved me," Jay laughs harshly at himself, "I actually believed it! I really did! You're a great actress, Tara. You know? Did anybody ever tell you that? Did the girls you slept with tell you that? Did you tell them you love them—"

"Stop it, Jay! Get the fuck off my porch." I yell at him.

He gets in my face, yelling louder, "Stop? You're telling me to stop? Why didn't you stop? After all this time, you strung me along for what?"

"I didn't—"

"I don't give a fuck, Tara! What you did was wrong and you know it, too. So, why didn't you tell me?" He demands to know, "You just thought you could keep it up and then what? Telling me would've been so much better than all of this. Did you ever think about that?"

"Jay, it's not—"

"I hope you feel good about yourself." He starts up again, but this time it's me cutting him off.

"Can you let me get a fucking word in? You keep asking me all of these questions and then not letting me answer!" I shout.

He folds his arms and glares at me, waiting for me to talk.

"Yes, I did think about it. A million times. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I know it doesn't mean anything, but I'm sorry. I really, truly am. I wish that I had done things differently, but this is how it all played out. And I'm sorry."

Jay scoffs, "You're fucking scum. I hate you, Tara. I'm done with you. You're a terrible person, you're going to Hell for what you are. Fucking faggot." Jay growls in a low voice as he turns around.

He spits on my porch and storms off to his truck. He gets in and slams the door, speeding down the street with his music blaring. I swing the door shut and immediately run upstairs. I collapse onto my bed and break down into a heap of tears. My chest heaves with every raggedy, hysterical breath I take. Hot water rolls down my face and I ultimately cry myself to sleep. I'm awoken by the sound of my doorbell going off yet again. Another wave of panic crashes over me when I remember what happened earlier. I look out the window and I don't see Jay's truck, so I deem it safe to go downstairs. I answer the door and see Ellie standing before me. She's wearing a red flannel, pale jeans, black converse, and a black beanie. In her arms, she clutches a big box and a bunch of flowers. I hug her tight and let her inside.

She tells me to open up the box, so I do. Inside, I find a teddy bear, tons of candies, a bunch of my favorite movies, and some CDs from my favorite bands. I practically cry at Ellie's kindness and she holds me tight. I'm relieved that I have her in my life. If it weren't for her, after my encounter with Jay, I would've lost my mind.

"Where's your parents?" She asks me, lacing her fingers through mine.

"My mom spent the weekend with my aunt before her wedding next week and my dad went to a baseball game with friends." I tell her as I begin unwrapping a lollipop.

"Sweet. Are you okay?" Ellie wants to know as she kisses my cheek.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Did you tell him I'm gay?" I ask.

"No, I didn't. He screamed at me and asked why I didn't tell him. I guess he found out through some other girl."

"What? Who?" I frown.

"Somebody named like, Rachel, I think. I don't really know." Ellie shrugs.

I flop onto the couch, "God damn."

"He's fucking wack. He says really dumb shit when he's mad, don't let anything he said get to you. I'm sorry." She mutters.

"It's fine. I'm sure I'll hear from him again." I sigh.

"If he bothers you, just let me know." Ellie requests.

I nod, "I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Good girl," Ellie laughs as she plants a soft kiss on my lips.

And I wish I could feel okay. I wish so badly that I could feel the way I did a few nights ago. Things will be okay again soon, I know. But it's just so hard to think of it ever being okay after today.