His Sister

Dreams

 When I open my eyes to the light of morning, pain radiates through my head and I instantly close them again. I groggily sit up and scratch the top of my head. I grumble and groan to myself as I roll over and try to get comfortable. I just want to go back to sleep. I feel the presence of another person beside me, so I scoot up to them. I snuggle up in an attempt to try to fall back asleep. When I open my eyes again, nobody is around. I sit up once more and look around the now darkened room. This isn't my bedroom. Where the fuck am I? I remember driving to Ellie's and then—Ah, fuck. I feel a sense of slight panic beginning to creep over me as I get out of bed. I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt that doesn't belong to me and some sweatpants that also don't belong to me. I open up the bedroom door and walk into the living room. The TV is on, playing cartoons. Ellie isn't on the couch, though. I frown and walk into the little kitchen, realizing fully how bad my head hurts. I press my palm to my forehead and notice Ellie leaning against the counter. She clutches a mug of coffee and sips it while she stares at me.

"Good morning," She says sleepily, "Coffee?"

"No thanks," I mutter, sitting down at the counter.

Ellie shrugs, "Suit yourself."

I place my elbows on the counter and bury my face in my palms, "My head fucking hurts."

"Yeah, well, you did end up getting completely hammered." Ellie snickers as she pulls out a few boxes of cereal, "You must be a hell of a lightweight. You didn't drink a whole lot."

"Can I have some Froot Loops?" I ask as I massage my temples.

"Anything for you," Ellie gushes sarcastically.

She pours me a bowl of cereal and adds just the right amount of milk. She pushes the bowl across the countertop and I barely lift my head to eat it. I take small spoonfuls into my mouth, grateful for the feeling of the cool milk running down my throat. When I'm finally starting to feel a little better, I speak up.

"What happened last night, anyway?"

"So," Ellie begins, "We got to my apartment and broke out the booze. We drank until our hearts' content and then you got even more fucked up. I tried to take care of you and you insisted on getting a tattoo. I then drove you to the tattoo parlor, and now you've got a tattoo of my face on your back."

"Bullshit." I comment, genuinely wondering if what she said is true.

Ellie gives me a casual shrug and turns around to close one of the cabinets. I swear I can feel my heart drop into my stomach. My hands reach to my back and under my shirt. I feel around the skin and Ellie begins laughing hysterically. There's no pain, so I doubt there's any ink.

"Relax, I'm just fucking with you," She sighs and wipes at her eyes for comedic effect.

I don't laugh.

"Jeez, Kristen Stewart over here." Ellie teases, "I don't even wanna tell you now."

She hesitates for a moment, then decides to let the cat out of the bag, "You told me you're a lesbian. I told you that I'm gay, too."

"That's it?"

"Eh," Ellie nervously tilts her head and then turns away from me, fiddling in the cupboards.

"What do you mean, 'eh'?" I inquire.

"Hey, whoa. Don't even get like that. You came onto me!" She shouts defensively.

"What?! What are you even talking about?!"

"We were talking and we were all boozed up, you said some shit you didn't mean and then we kissed. That was it." Ellie says in a lowered, more serious tone, "And I'm sure it didn't mean shit to you, so I'm sorry it even happened in the first place."

I can see the hurt in her eyes. It pains me to see her like this. How could she think that she means nothing to me? I feel a tinge of guilt and I try to shake it off. I have Jay, I can't be messing around with his sister. But I don't love him. Do I even owe him anything like that?

"I'm not going to tell Jay, but you can." Is the last thing she says before she goes into her bedroom.

I look into my cereal bowl and feel a tinge of sadness. I feel disappointed in myself. She actually cares about me, even though she doesn't act like it. I can see past her act. I'd like to think that Ellie is like a teddy bear. On the outside, she can be hard to tear. But on the inside, she's soft and fluffy. I can't just leave her hanging after all of that. What kind of person would I be? Not to mention the fact that I, myself, would experience some sort of emotional turmoil? I stand up and walk into her room. Ellie sits on her bed and averts my gaze.

"Your clothes are in the bathroom. You can leave whenever." She informs me.

"Ellie," I say, standing at the opposite end of the bed.

She looks up to me, her face somewhat red.

"Look, I'm sorry. I misjudge you. A lot. But you confuse me. You can be real with me. I know you can. You don't have to hide anymore," I say quietly, "Maybe we just need to put on the brakes for a little bit."

Ellie chews her bottom lip and nods slowly, "I'm sorry." She stands up and hugs me tight.

I hug her back and whisper in her ear, "Virgin."

She laughs and smacks my butt as I turn around and grab my clothes from her bathroom.

"Text me when you can hang out again. Next time we can do it sober." Ellie winks as she opens the front door for me.

"Definitely," I laugh and walk outside.

Whoa.