broken || outerbanks, jj

twenty four

8:56 pm

my friends were on their way over to my house. kie had said that jj was coming with them, something about not wanting to be bored and just wanting to do something with his friends.

i honestly didn't take offense to it. i wanted jj to be happy. whether he was happy when he hated me, or happy when he said nasty things to me, i was okay with it. i just wanted him to be happy.

i sat up chairs around the fire place, five in total. i lit the fire with a match, then making sure it had enough wood in it to stay lit.

i sat down in a chair and watched the fire. fire was always amusing to watch. the way the flames would break off of each other, but then later come right back and connect. it was a funny concept actually. it was like two souls breaking away, leaving, but later on, ended up together. it was almost like a pattern.

"hey cooper?" i heard from above me. i looked up at the house and saw wheezie standing in the window of my bedroom.

"what?"

"can i use your curling iron? i can't find sarah's." wheezie had her hair half up half down from what i could tell. she seemed to be in a hurry.

"go for it."

"thank you."

"you're welcome."

"who are you talking to?" kie asked from behind me.

all four of them were standing behind me looking at me confused.

"wheezie." i pointed up to my window.

"what did she want?" pope asked as well and sat down in a chair.

"something for her hair." i replied as i got up and added more wood to the fire seeing as i didn't add enough before. pope just nodded, satisfied with my reply.

"so cooper, tomorrow night, jj said he can get us up the light house. you down?" john b asked me.

i looked over at jj and he was already looking at me. but this time, for once, it wasn't full of anger. he didn't seemed to be upset or pissed off. he just looked like jj. a normal expression, a normal gaze.

"i'd be down." i nodded towards john b's way.

"good because i think we'll need you. jj said you are good at remembering paths and stuff, so we think that you would be able to get us back up where you and jj were last time." john b said not really understanding what he just said and did.

jj's eyes were wide, not to wide to make it obvious, but enough for me to notice. i watched jj turn over to john b and just look at him. i couldn't tell what jj was thinking but i'm sure it was close to 'why did you bring that up?'

"yeah i can do that." i nodded at john b, not wanting to make it anymore awkward than it was between jj and i.

it was silent for a while, us five just taking in the heat from the fire. it was nice silence. it didn't feel awkward or uneasy. it was honestly calming. it felt like a home. a home i felt comfortable in.

i looked up at jj who had his eyes on the fire. i don't normally focus on eyes, but from the light of the fire, jj's blue eyes were showing more than ever.

the color of blue was always a significant color to me. in my head, blue was always the higher color. if you think about it, the sky, it's the prettiest blue. it's the one thing no one can touch, the one thing no one can have, except a few select things.

the clouds and the stars.

even though the sky is loved by many, it's so lonely. the sky only has the stars and the clouds. the stars came out the same time every time. they were always there no matter what the sky was feeling. but the clouds only came out sometimes, only when they wanted too.

i was the clouds, i only came around when i wanted. when i thought it was an appropriate time. kie, pope and john b though, they were the stars. they came around every time at the exact right time.

and jj, he was the sky. the lonely sky.

i wanted to be part of the stars. i didn't want to be a cloud. i wanted to be a star. i wanted to be bright and noticeable. i wanted to be there when needed for the sky, not just when i wanted.

i shook off my thoughts and came back to reality. pope and kie had started their own conversation while john b was talking to ward who i guess was here now.

jj, he was still looking at the fire. he had his arms rested against his knees as his hands were open in front of the fire. his hat was sat backwards on his head as he moved one of his hands to scratch his chin. the hand had cuts on them. i knew he was in a fight just from those cuts, but of course, i didn't know with who.

that's when i looked back up at his eyes.

his blue, pretty sky, eyes were fixated on me now. he watched me look at him, taking in his appearance. he watched me fidget under his gaze. he watch me smile at his grin on his face. he was watching me. he was taking in my appearance just like i was with his.

"you're still beautiful to me." jj whispered, but kie and pope had both heard it but paid no attention to it, them not wanting to ruin what was happening.

i kept the smile on my face, but looked down. i didn't want him to see any effect he had just put on me.

i missed those words. i missed him. those words made me want to scream and cry at what i did last summer. but i didn't. i didn't cry, i didn't scream. i just smiled. i smiled and shook my head at him.

jj maybank will forever and always have an effect on me.