letters l.fl + h.hj

🍁007

"reported crime scene at main street. 18 year old lee yongbok committed suicide inside of his bedroom. a series of letters was found in his room that he wrote before hand. all letters were towards his supposedly bestfriend hwang hyunjin.

cuts were found everywhere on the body. the late teen seemed to be in a state of depression according to the letters. we send condolences to his family and friends.''

hyunjin couldn't believe what he was hearing. it was like everything stopped around him. there was a quiet ringing in his ear. felix couldn't be dead. why did he do that to himself? was it because of hyunjin? what did he do?

so many unanswered questions ran through his head. hyunjin quickly put on a jacket and some random shoes. they were probably put on wrong considering that his feet hurt. but he didn't care. he had to see it for himself.

he ran and ran tears flowing and flying through the air. hyunjin felt so desperate. he needed to see felix alive and well. he hoped he was alive and well.

soon he arrived at his bestfriend's house. he pushed the door open dodging the officers trying to prevent him from going in.

in the house he saw felix's mom sobbing into her husband's chest. when she saw hyunjin she glared at him with angry eyes.

"it's all your fault!" she hollered pointing a finger at the tall boy. "mrs. lee i don't know what you're talking about" hyunjin struggled to get out a sentence.

"honey leave him alone, he doesn't know" mr. lee held his wife back from attacking the young boy. "what don't i know?" he asked the older male. but to he didn't answer.

so hyunjin tried going into felix's room. but the officer wouldn't let him. tears started to roll down his cheeks again. as he begged the officer to let him pass. he wanted someone to hug him. he wanted felix to hug him and tell him that he's okay. to tell him that this is all some sick joke.

——

hyunjin sat quietly in the comfortable room as he waited for an answer.

"are you hwang hyunjin?" a voice asked as the door creaked open and shut closed. all the quiet male did was give the person a small nod.

there were dried tear stains on his milky skin. his eyes and nose were as red as an apple. he felt like shit.

the other couch across from hyunjin made a poof sound as the person sat on it.

"my name is kim hyojong, i'll be your therapist for today" the person finally spoke with a pen and clipboard in hand. he looked calm but classy. he sat with one leg crossed over the other.

"so first can you tell me what's on your mind" hyojong asks taking a sip of warm tea on the side table.

"i want to know what happened to my friend" hyunjin demanded not looking at the therapist.

the man chuckled quietly. "i thought you would say that" he responds taking out a small box. "these are the letters that your friend wrote to you" the older tells hyunjin.

this caught his attention. he immediately reached for the box opening it and read the letters.

letter after letter more tears came down his face. it was all his fault. the tears wet the paper as they fell. he didn't pay enough attention to felix so he payed the price. if only he spent more time with felix. if only he didn't date bang chan and confessed his feelings for felix instead.

he started sobbing as the memories of the play dates, the tutoring sessions, and the movie nights came back to him. he wailed into his hands feeling a more comfortable one patting his back.

"it's gonna be okay hyunjin. just breathe" hyojong calmly stated still rubbing comforting circles on his back.

"i-its all my fault. i-if i h-had told him i-" his voice cracked and stopped mid sentence causing him to sob harder.

his body shook rapidly as he suddenly forgot how to breathe. hyojong's eyes widen as he tried to get hyunjin to breathe again.

after a few minutes hyunjin had calmed down so he could finish reading the last letter.

"he said he liked me...and i liked him back" hyunjin quietly said staring down at his feet.

"do you know why you didn't tell him?" the therapist asked calmly and slowly.

"i didn't think he liked me and i had a boyfriend" he answered with a frown trying to grab onto something.

"why don't you read the last letter once you get home? i think it'll be better to be in the comfort of your own home." the older suggested.

———

so there hyunjin was. sitting on his bed with the last letter in his shaking hand. he slowly opened the letter still feeling like shit.

what was written in the letter brought him to tears.

—

dear hyunjin,

this is my last letter. so i want to
get this off my chest.
i hate you hwang hyunjin.
i hate you for leaving me for
chan. i hate you for leaving me
alone during our lunch breaks.
i hate you for not paying me
any of your attention.
i hate you for not loving back.
but i also love you. i love you
for your personality. i loved the
way you would laugh at my
terrible jokes. i loved the way
you would look at me everytime
i smiled. i loved the way you
made me happy everytime you
spoke in the tiniest english.
i loved the way you made me
feel alive. you made me feel
good. and i loved you for that.
goodbye hwang hyunjin. my
love, my bestfriend, and my
happiness. i love you.

love, the late lee yongbok